


Searing

by Chickenparm



Category: Game Grumps, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Drama, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Mentions of Smut, Not polyamory, Reader-Insert, Romantic Soulmates, Slice of Life, Slow Burn, Soulmate AU, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, Swearing, buckle up friendos, but not like actual smut, gender neutral reader, or i tried to, soz boss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-17
Updated: 2017-05-03
Packaged: 2018-10-06 20:03:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 23,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10343580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chickenparm/pseuds/Chickenparm
Summary: Finding your soulmate was never a guaranteed thing.Even if you do, what if they're already married?





	1. Arin Joseph Hanson

**Author's Note:**

> I write Soulmate stuff 'cause I'm lonely af irl, god bless. 
> 
> There's a noticeable lack of Arin stuff and I'd diddle his skittle so here we go, friendos. 
> 
> I don't know if this will have smut. I tried to make the reader as gender-neutral as possible, but they still will probably end up being feminine because that's all I've written for so long. Despite it being the year of our lord 2017, I've got it ingrained in my sad little writing fingers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have a tumblr. 
> 
> chickenparm.tumblr.com
> 
> come be my friend, i have none.

Finding your soulmate was never a guaranteed thing. 

All you got was a name, burned into the wrist of your left hand after puberty. There wasn't a cosmic force bringing the two of you together – that was up to you to make that effort. Many people went their whole lives without coming across their soulmate. The ones who did were considered lucky. 

When you woke up one night after your fourteenth birthday, screaming for your parents as your wrist burned and blistered, the only thing you could think of was that maybe this wasn't worth all of the trouble. You'd probably never meet them, anyway. It took a week for the swelling to go down, and another week afterward for the scabbing to go away enough to read the name. 

_Arin Joseph Hanson._

It was... kind of boring, honestly. Your parents were encouraged, though. There were a few Arins that your family knew of distantly, but none by the name of Hanson. Keep heart, they told you. You'd find them, surely. Over the next few months, as your friends' marks burned into existence and you saw their names, you couldn't help but feel like you got the better part of the stick. 

A girl you'd known since Kindergarten, Samantha, hers was in a foreign language that she couldn't even read. One girl had the name of a teenage star from a television series that was popular at the time. Yours was simple, maybe even easy. It made you hopeful for the future. 

As you graduated High School, made it through college, and settled down in Los Angeles with a comfortable job, your hope waned. At twenty-three, you were in the prime years of your life without more than a handful of casual relationships to show for it. Your heart yearned for the soulmate that you probably would never meet. 

Sometimes, you laid in bed and thought about what Arin Joseph Hanson was doing at that very moment. Was it daytime where he was? Had he given up on finding you? Was he married? You wondered what would happen if he was, but you two still met. Would he leave his partner for you? Despite wishing for him to be with you, you knew you wouldn't want to take someone else's happiness away. 

It was known to happen – you could list a reason for divorce as finding your soulmate. It wasn't frowned upon, why wouldn't you want to be with the person made for you? It still made your heart hurt just thinking about doing that to someone else. 

"You ready to go, or what?" Your friend, Tara, leaned against the doorway of the bathroom while you hovered over the sink and finished styling your hair. You grumbled and finally let her lead you out of the apartment. She had a job interview today, and you were her ride. The two of you agreed that you'd wait in the coffee shop across the street while she was inside the office building. 

"My phone will be off while I'm in there, but I'll send you a text as soon as they let me go. You'll be okay here?" 

"I'll be fine, buggaboo," You teased Tara with a pinch to her side and she blew a raspberry at you before jogging across the street while she still could. You turned to enter the air-conditioned building and headed right to the counter to get some late breakfast. 

All the tables were full, and the only option you could even consider was a well-dressed woman sitting by the window, scribbling in a notebook. Tentatively, you walked over and asked if you could sit down with her. She looked up with large grey eyes, obviously wearing contacts, and gave you a bright grin, "Of course! It's pretty busy in here, huh?" 

She cleared her bag from the table to the seat next to her, and gestured for you to take a seat. She told you her name was Suzy, and when you asked what she was working on, she explained that it was just some ideas for her YouTube channel. You nodded between sips of your coffee, listening to her explain all of the ins and outs of what she does for a living. 

"Oh! I'm sorry, I didn't even ask your name!" Suzy looked remorseful for a second, until you told her. Her face took a serious look, before asking your last name. Once again, you gave it to her and she fell quiet for a long time, seemingly thinking about something. 

"Y-You okay?" You finally break the silence and she snaps out of her thoughts with a smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes. 

"Oh! Yeah, I'm sorry. You just seemed familiar," She waved you off with that same odd smile, and the two of you lapsed back into easy conversation. It seemed like minutes before your phone buzzed, signaling your friend's release from the job interview. Suzy demanded that the two of you exchange numbers before you left, and sent you a drop call so that you had hers as well. 

That night, after you'd gotten home and started making dinner, Suzy invited you to a group gathering next week, at the office space she spends most of her time at. You were about to say no, until she told you that there was someone there that you really needed to meet. Something about her urgency made you finally agree.


	2. Thin Gold Band

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure how long this one's gonna be, but it's sure gonna be angsty 'cause I love that this, hell yeah. 
> 
> Leave a comment telling me which one of Arin's chins is your favorite. Mine's the third one.

Suzy seemed off when you arrived. When you'd talked to her in the coffee shop, she seemed vivacious and full of life, but now it was like it had been sucked out of her. She put on a brave face, though. Her smile was wide, even if it didn't quite match up with all the other vibes she was giving off. When you texted her outside of the building, she greeted you with an unexpected hug and asked you to wait for a second. 

"I'll bring him out. I... I promise, you'll be happy you came," Her voice cracked a bit at the end of her sentence, and upon closer inspection you could see the misty eyes she was sporting. Something wasn't right. You didn't get the chance to question Suzy before she ducked back into the building and left you alone. 

You shifted from foot-to-foot, wondering who on Earth she could have wanted you to meet. Especially since you'd only met her yourself a few days ago. Your phone beeped with a smiley face from Suzy that put you even more on edge. What was she planning? She wasn't malicious, you could tell that from the way she'd welcomed you sitting with her the first time. 

The door creaked open, and a head poked out for a second before a body followed it. It wasn't Suzy, but you could tell this was who you were waiting for. His hair was pulled into a ponytail at the back of his head, but you could see the blonde streak on the right side. He looked down at you with confused eyes, and you offered a tentative wave. 

"Suzy said you wanted to talk to me? I don't know why she didn't just bring you inside, though." 

You stopped mid-wave. What? 

"Um.. Suzy just told me to come here, and said there was someone I should meet. I honestly don't even know who you are," You scrambled for words, to make this a little less awkward for everyone involved. 

"What's your name again?" He asked, running a hand over his facial hair in thought, trying to remember where he might have seen your face before. _You'd_ never seen him, but something about him made all of the hair on your body stand on end. He didn't seem like a bad person, though. You weren't sure why all of your nerves were firing at once. 

Your hesitantly gave it to him, and everything about him just froze. You weren't a mind reader, but you could tell that even his brain shut down. It took a few seconds for everything to come back to life, but the look he was giving you was complete shock and awe. He took a step forward, and you took an equal one back to keep some distance. Something was fucky. 

"I-I mean, my parents belonged to each other and that was already damn lucky, but I never thought I would-" 

"Uhhhh, what are you talking about?" You interrupted, and he seemed to realize his mistake. He tried to pull the sleeve of his jacket up, but it was too tight and he had to settle for yanking his whole arm out of the sleeve. He thrust his left wrist out and showed you something you never thought you would bear witness to. 

Scarred onto his skin was your full name, and you realized that this had to be Arin Joseph Hanson, the man you dreamed about meeting ever since you'd been paired with him. 

"A-Arin?" You breathed and he nodded, unprepared for you to launch your body at his chest and wrap yourself around him. Arin laughed and squeezed you to him, rocking the two of you back and forth gently. The look you gave him after finally pulling away could only be described as euphoria. 

His smile wavered, though. Before you could ask, he lifted his hand to show the thin band on his left ring finger, "I.. I'll have to divorce Suzy." 

Of course, your worst fear would have to come true. You took a step out of his reach and jammed your hands in the pockets of your jacket to keep them from shaking, "No." 

"I.. What? No?" 

"No. Don't divorce Suzy." 

"I'm not into the Polyamory thing," He tried to make light of the situation, but you shook your head. 

"I-I wanted to meet you and be with you, but not like this. I won't ruin her happiness," You turned on your heel and made a beeline to your car. You had to get away from here before you changed your mind. Arin's heavy footfalls rang behind you, but you slid into your car and locked the door before he could stop you. 

Pointedly, you didn't look at him standing next to the driver's side door as you started the car. If you looked at him, if you looked at who was supposed to be your other half, you wouldn't have the resolve to let him go like this. He was supposed to be yours, but he had already promised himself to someone else. You didn't fancy yourself so selfish that you would let him break that promise. 

In defeat, Arin stepped away from your car as you pulled out of the parking space and left the lot. Fifteen minutes later, your phone exploded with texts and calls from Suzy, along with another number that you didn't recognize. It had to be Arin's, and you forced yourself not to save it in your phone. 

That night, you cried in your shower and scrubbed at the name on your wrist, begging for it to be taken away.


	3. Flowers

"Just talk to him." 

Tara was reclined across your couch, head propped up on her arm so she could watch you angrily clean your apartment. It had been two weeks since what you now considered to be the worst day of your life, and your raw fury was growing at an exponential rate. 

Why on God's Green Earth did Suzy think it would be a good idea to introduce you? What was she hoping to accomplish? You slammed your rag onto the coffee table and scrubbed at it with enough force to rival the movement of the continental plates. Ever since, it'd been the only thing you could think about. 

It didn't help that Suzy and Arin continued to text and call you – you prided yourself on resisting the urge to save his number in your phone. You pointedly ignored every attempt, they usually tried once or twice a day at this point. You didn't need their reminders of Arin's existence, though. Not when you'd stumbled across his YouTube on a bit of clumsy googling. 

It figures, he would have a channel dedicated to one of your biggest hobbies – video games. Against everything you knew to be your best interests, you devoured every video on the channel hungrily. Hundreds of them. When you were alone, it was a constant soundtrack in the background of your daily life. 

"No. There isn't a point. He's married," Was your only response to Tara, and she rolled her eyes and flopped her head down onto the couch. She knew the entire story, and hadn't relented in trying to get you to at least hear him out. If the both Arin _and_ Suzy were trying, there had to be something that you didn't know, she reasoned. 

As if by divine intervention, your phone rang from the back of the couch. Tara grabbed it to look at the screen, and you could tell from the look on her face that it was Satan himself – Arin Joseph fucking Hanson. You opened your mouth to tell her to hang it up, but she did the exact opposite. 

"Hey, is this Arin? She's right here. Okay, I'll put her on." Her arm shot out to hold the phone out to you, and with the worst glare you could muster, you snatched it from her. 

"What?" 

"Nice to talk to you, too. Can you like... not hang up on me? I want to talk to my soulmate for like five minutes." 

"No point," You interrupted, and he groaned on the other side of the line. 

"Look, can we meet face-to-face? I have some shit I wanna say and I don't wanna do it on the phone where you can just hang up on me." 

"Must be some shitty shit, if you think I'm gonna hang up on you," You argued, and he let out a breathy laugh. Just the sound of it made your heart jump, and made you angry at yourself. Don't get excited, he isn't yours. 

"If it'll get you guys to leave me alone, fine. I'll text you my address, come by tomorrow," Before he could say anything, you pressed the end button on your phone and threw it at Tara as hard as you could, "What part of 'No' isn't sinking in to your stupid fucking head?" 

"Fuck you, bud. I'm just here to make sure you handle this shit right. Ignoring him is just going to hurt both of you in the long run," She ducked away from your cell phone with grace and moved to sit upright. 

"Hurting _you_ seems like a pretty good idea right now." 

"I'm gonna take that as my cue to leave. Don't ditch Arin tomorrow. I just put his number in my phone, I'll unlock the door for him if I have to." 

 

At 4PM sharp, Arin showed up at your door. He had a bouquet. You ignored it with all the stubbornness you could muster. You opened your door further to let him in, and the two of you wound up sitting at your small kitchen table. His height made his legs a bit too long for the table, so his knees wound up pressed against yours. You scootched your chair back just enough to be out of reach. 

Arin laid the bouquet on the table between the two of you, and started to fidget with his hands. You drummed your fingers on the tabletop and waited for him to get to talking. Arin could take a hint, and finally mustered up some words, "Why did you leave when we met?" 

"I told you. You're married, I'm not gonna get between that." 

"Let's be honest, Suzy is the one coming between you and me." 

"That's a shitty thing to say, Arin," The look on your face was disbelief. How could he say something like that about his wife? What the hell? 

"Yeah, I guess so. It's not a problem anymore, though," Arin said, looking down to pluck a flower petal from the arrangement and slide it between his fingertips. You waited for him to explain, and he tried to stall as long as possible. You watched him fidget with the flower with mild impatience, before you realized something. 

"Yeah. We're working on the divorce now," He answered your unspoken question, and you felt that rage burn back up your chest again at the sight of his bare ring finger. 

"Are you fucking serious? I literally told you not to!" 

"Did you really fucking expect me to go along with that? I don't even know you, but every single part of me is saying that I love you! Did you think Suzy was going to be okay with knowing her husband is dreaming about another woman every night?" 

"It's her fault we even met!" You argued, balling your fists up on the table and feeling your fingernails dig into your palms harshly. He had a point, but it still wasn't fair for anyone involved. 

"Because she fuckin' cared about me enough to realize that you would make me happier than she ever could! Look, before we got married, Suzy and I swore to each other that if we met each others' soulmate, we wouldn't stand in the way of that." 

"So I'm supposed to just be cool with taking another woman's man? That's fucked, no." 

"I was never hers! I was literally made for you, I have your fucking name right here!" He flipped his wrist to show you the offending scar, slightly raised skin spelling out your name for the world to see. You opened your mouth to respond, but he reached over with his other hand to flip your wrist around to show your matching scar. 

"...And you were made for me, too. It's too late to stop the divorce from going through. Please, just let's try and be friends, at least." He begged, his voice wavering a bit at the end. You stared down at your wrists laying next to each other, showing what you'd yearned to see for so many years. Arin's hand shifted and he twisted his fingers with yours. 

If he and Suzy had really agreed to the divorce – you're sure they did, since Arin's ring was missing – then there wasn't anything standing in the way of this. Suzy had stepped aside, and you could only hope that she found her soulmate someday. It still made you feel disgusting, stealing another woman's husband like this. It wasn't fair to her, another reason soulmates were a curse. 

"I just found you, don't run away from me again? It'd probably kill me." 

"Okay," You said quietly, and when you made eye contact, his smile was radiant. Before you could react, he leaned over to press a kiss to your forehead.


	4. Believing

Suzy was waiting at your front door when you came home from work two days later. Your laptop was tucked under your arm, and a bag of takeout was swinging from the other while you fished for your keys. Without a word, you let her enter first and closed the door behind the two of you. 

Before you could finish putting your stuff away and kick your shoes off, she spoke, "I'm not upset." 

"I kinda am, I'm sure Arin told you." 

"Yeah, he told me everything," Suzy shifted from one foot to the other, and you didn't miss the motion of her right hand moving to fidget a ring on her left that was no longer there. You stuffed your takeout in the fridge, and the two of you finally sat down in your small living room to talk. You'd eat dinner later, if you could even stomach it after these shenanigans. 

"Look, you have every right to be angry at the both of us like you are, but I just wanted to explain my side of things. Hopefully it'll make you feel a little better," Suzy pulled both of her legs up to sit cross legged on the couch, and shifted her body to look at you head-on. 

"My parents are soulmates, my grandparents on both sides are soulmates. My sister found her soulmate. My family has been _really_ lucky in finding each other, and being surrounded by that my whole life has really made me believe in the entire system. I got married to Arin because even though we didn't share each others' names, he felt like he could've been my soulmate in another circumstance." 

Her explanation draws you in, and you watch enraptured as she spins her little story, hands gesturing in the meantime, "It's because of me being such a believer in soulmates that I was the one to force Arin to make the promise. The one before we got married that we would stand back for each others' mates. Even if he hadn't, I still would have stood aside so that Arin could be happy with you. Does that help a bit?" 

"A little," You agreed quietly, and the smile she gave you made your heart break. It was watery. 

"I love Arin, he's one of my best friends. We could've been soulmates if things had been different, but I know that no matter how happy he is with me, it would be nothing compared to how he could be with you. I care about Arin enough to sacrifice so that he can have that. I'll get mine someday, it runs in the family, remember?" 

You finally reached over and pulled her into a hug, and she returned it immediately without hesitation, "I'm so sorry, Suzy. I didn't mean for this to happen." 

"I did. That's why I introduced you. You were _made_ for each other, just like I was made for someone other than Arin," Suzy encouraged, smoothing a hand over your hair and letting you hold onto her. She was handling this so well, it felt weird for you to be the one looking for comfort in this situation. Suzy was a saint, you realized, and it only made your heart break that you had caused all of this. 

 

 _Will you come by the office from before? I want you to meet everyone._

Arin's text came by a few days later, after light conversation here and there. You reluctantly agreed, knowing that things might be a bit weird for everyone at the studio. Suzy was a part of their daily lives, and you weren't sure how things were going to fit together now that she and Arin were divorcing, and you were moving into the picture. 

Oh god, would he want you to be a part of their roster of people working on the channel? It was a fleeting thought, but you immediately decided that you would tell him no. If he was insistent for some reason, you'd take a back seat in everything. You didn't want millions of people on the internet watching you. It made your skin crawl just thinking about it. 

Your drive to the office was quick, the traffic was only mildly infuriating. You couldn't be too upset, since you wanted to stall as long as possible. You finally found yourself outside the door where you'd first met Arin, and took a few moments to compose yourself before shooting him a text that you were here and the door was locked. 

With a cheerful greeting, the door flew open and Arin gave you a bright smile. He sobered the smallest amount at your serious face, before he answered the question you were too anxious to ask, "Suzy's visiting her family for the weekend. She isn't here." 

You followed him inside, and he let you go up the stairs first, talking the entire time, "So, not everyone is here. Dan, Barry, and Brian are around working on stuff, though. You're gonna love them, do you watch the show at all?" 

"I've seen a few episodes," You lied, knowing that there wasn't one that you hadn't already watched. 

"Cool, so you know them already. Dan is really excited. He doesn't have a soulmate, so he's... kinda living vicariously through me." 

"Wait, he doesn't have a soulmate?" You paused on the top step, looking over your shoulder while Arin caught up. 

"Yeah, it's really rare but he's blank. I didn't believe it either but it's medically certified and everything," He slid past you to unlock the door into the studio, and the bright lighting inside contrasted with the dark stairwell. 

"Oh shit, is that them?" The familiar voice of Danny called out from across the room. You felt a little strange to recognize Dan's voice so easily, but you couldn't help it. Hundreds of episodes. 

"Yeah, dude. Be nice," Arin said, closing the door behind the two of you so it wouldn't slam. You didn't have a moment to react before you were swept into a pair of crazy long spider arms. 

"Sorry! I'm just so excited to meet you, damn. You're just like I imagined," Dan let you go and jammed both of his hands into the pockets of the sweatshirt he was wearing. You looked up and gave him a hesitant smile while you introduced yourself. Arin laid a hand on your shoulder and turned you to the left to see the other two people that were standing a few feet away, waiting their turn. 

"This is Barry, our bearded butthole, and Ninja Brian." 

"I know Brian, I've listened to a lot of your music," This smoothed out the tension in Brian's figure, but Barry was still making faces at Arin over the top of your head. 

"Awesome, I knew I was gonna like you! We're gonna be best friends, I promise. I'll just steal you from Arin, we can be soulmates instead," At the mention of soulmates, you felt your insides twist. You weren't sure how much joking was going to be tasteful considering Dan's blank wrists, but you went out on a limb to test that boundary. 

"Of course, Dan. Who's Arin? I don't know that name." 

Dan's bubbling laughter made the tension in your gut relax. Okay, so he didn't seem to be too torn up about it. That made things significantly easier. Eventually, after a bit more small talk, the guys went back to their work stations to finish what they had started, and Arin took you into the room that was obviously used for recording Game Grumps. 

"Here's where the magic happens," He dropped down to sit on the couch and stretched his legs out. Gingerly, you sat next to him and bounced your knee anxiously. Arin reached over and held your knee still, and laughed quietly at you, "Relax, alright?" 

"Sorry. It's just kind of strange. We've barely talked but everything inside me is... I don't know, calling for you? Despite that, I really want to take all of this slow. I want to be friends first." 

"I know, trust me," Arin said quietly, squeezing your knee briefly before retracting his hand. He slid down to relax and crossed his arms over his stomach, "Suzy isn't just going to visit her family for the weekend. She went up there to get some time away. She said she wanted us to get to know each other without her hovering around." 

"Oh. I'm sorry-" 

"Don't be sorry. This isn't anyone's fault, alright? This kind of thing happens and there isn't much to do about it. All we can do is just try and work shit out the best way we can. I wanted to hang out at my house, but Suzy is busy moving her things and like I said, she didn't want things to be weird," You laughed and slowly slid to lay your head on his shoulder. He didn't move to make it more intimate than it already was, and you silently thanked him. 

"Too late for that, shit's all fucky." 

Leaning on him seemed to break the awkward tension because the two of you lapsed into mildly easy conversation. Arin's fidgeting finally got the best of you, and you suggested that the two of you play a game or something. You let him pick, and he grabbed something for the Game Cube that you didn't get the chance to look at. 

"I promise I'm not as shitty as I am on the show. I get like that because I want to get gameplay going and interact with Dan." 

"Sure thing, Arin. I believe you." 

Something about your response to that lit a fire in him, and made him more determined to prove that he wasn't completely garbage at video games. You actually _did_ believe him, of course, but his reaction just made you want to tease him even more. 

He realized what you were doing and took it in stride, but not without trying to pass the controller off to you a few times so he could get his own jabs in. You waved him off, saying that it was just too much fun watching him be so good, and he sent you a dirty look. 

You found yourself thinking about how good this felt to be around him. Like you were out of place your entire life, and suddenly you found your place next to Arin. While he was engrossed in the current level he was playing, you looked down at your wrist to the scar bearing his name. You ran your thumb over it like you had a million times before in the past years, and felt your heart jump. 

Being next to Arin was like coming home after a long day of work. His presence was like rain in the desert, like finding the shore on rough seas. For the first time in your life, you felt like nothing mattered besides the man sitting next to you. He looked to you and smiled, and you smiled back.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A'suh dudes.
> 
> I'm taking requests n' stuff on my tumblr (chickenparm.tumblr.com).

Once Suzy had finished moving back to her family's home, the news of their divorce was let out and things basically went to hell in a hand-basket. They tried to keep things quiet, but it was unanimous within the fan community that one of the two had found their soulmate. It was the only reason they would break up. 

You sat at the Grump Space with Dan on the bean bags in the main living area, while Arin typed furiously on his laptop. You guys were fiddling around on your phones in companionable silence, until Arin broke it, "Okay. What are we doin'?" 

"A whole lotta nothin', looks like," Dan answered, and Arin waved him off and turned to look at you. 

"I mean with the whole Suzy-Soulmate-Breakup bullshit. Do you want people to know who you are?" 

"I... don't care if people know who I am, but I don't want to be in any spotlights. I'm not funny enough," You said, and Arin let out a short laugh before looking back to his laptop. 

"I'm talkin' to one of the mods on the subreddit. I'm not gonna to make any decisions without anyone else's input, but I think I'm gonna make a post on there and just clear the air of everything, if Suzy is alright with it," Danny hummed before locking his phone and dropping it in his lap to give Arin his full attention. 

"Sounds like a plan, Stan. People are pretty cool about this stuff. Is Suzy staying on the team, or is she gonna break away and do her own thangy-thang?" 

"I haven't talked to her about that yet, I wanted to give her a bit more time alone before I bring up all that bullshit," Arin's fingers tapped nervously on the sides of his computer. You focused on the logo of the laptop pointedly, not liking the vibe you were getting from him. 

"I thought you guys split amicably?" You interrupted, and he looked down at his laptop again – reading a response, you assumed – before nodding absently. 

"We did, but y-you gotta understand that it wasn't just about divorcing me. If we had just broken up we woulda been fine, but she doesn't want you to feel uncomfortable about her hangin' around." 

"It wouldn't be uncomfortable. I don't plan on being a big part of all this YouTube stuff, remember? I trust you," Arin looked up and gave you a small smile, and you returned it in kind. It had been a week since you had first come to hang out with him in person, and you'd been here almost every day since then. You didn't really have a choice. 

Arin was here so often working that if you wanted to spend time with him, it was usually while he was working on something else at the same time. The three of you had just gone out to get lunch, and had been relaxing in your food comas before Arin brought anything up about announcing your existence. 

"Here's my proposal. You and Suzy should make a joint post saying that you split and are still friends, and be honest with everyone that you found your soulmate, Arin. Wait a little bit, see the community's reaction, and if everything goes well then maybe make an introductory video," Dan chimed in, reaching an arm to rest across the back of your shoulders. You nodded immediately in agreement – it seemed sensible enough. Coming right out with everything probably wasn't the best idea, better to spread it out and get a feel for the fans' reactions. 

Eventually, Dan and you migrated into the Grump Room, leaving Arin immersed in his conversations on his laptop. Dan fiddled with the Game Cube while you curled up on Arin's side of the couch, tapping out a few texts to your family. 

You had finally told your mother about meeting Arin, and she was obscenely delighted and demanded you bring him down to Anaheim to meet the family. You were stalling as much as possible. The tentative friendship with Arin was something you wanted to work on without throwing your family at him. 

Dan finally returned and flopped down onto the couch with his legs tucked under him. Then, he moved over to lean against your shoulder while he played whatever game he'd chosen. Absently, you reached your right hand up to smooth the curls back from his forehead and scrolled through your messages with the other one. 

"How are things goin' with Arin?" Dan breaks the silence, keeping his gaze focused on the television. You hummed and shrugged with the shoulder that wasn't occupied with Dan's head. 

"I like him a lot, but things are weird. I still feel bad for the whole divorce thing, y'know? I feel all wrong but everything inside me is saying that I'm where I need to be." 

"I feel ya. I'm blank, but I think if I had to have a soulmate I'd want it to be Arin. He's my best friend, he's a good guy. The weirdness will pass, I promise. He was happy with Suzy, but he's got this vibe around him now that's toootally different. I'm glad you guys finally found each other," Dan's words soothed your feelings a little bit, but you knew there would always be a part of you in the back of your mind that felt bad for all of this. 

"I know what you're thinking. Stop it and keep rubbing my head, damnit," You laughed and followed his order, trying not to get your hands caught in his unruly curls. The only noise was him swearing quietly every time he died, but it was peaceful nonetheless. 

"Yo, lovebirds, I'm gonna steal my soulmate to get lunch," Arin poked his head in, obviously done with whatever he'd been working on before. You pat Dan's head a few times in consolation before slipping away and following Arin out into the main Grump Space. It was considerably cooler than the insulated room, and you relaxed for a second to take in the change in temperature. 

Dan called his goodbyes as you got your things together, and you waved back at him just before the door closed behind the two of you. In the darkness of the stairwell, Arin reached for your hand and helped you down the dark stairs instead of turning the light on, "Where do you want to eat?" 

"I don't care. Something with sushi," You said, stumbling on the last step but catching yourself on the railing. Arin's hand landed on your elbow to help you steady yourself. Once you were back on two feet again, he slipped his hand down your arm to hold hands until you got to the car. 

"Dude, I could shove a whole sushi roll up my ass right now. You're a genius." 

"I try," You joked, buckling yourself into the passenger's seat while he started the ignition and pulled out of the parking lot. Arin had no filter. None. You realized this pretty early on in your budding friendship, when he'd get irritated over something and yell about getting fucked in the ass. Or, shoving sushi rolls up there apparently. That was a new one. 

"So, even though I wanted to give her some space, Suzy messaged me while you guys were in the Grump Room." 

"Yeah? How is she?" 

"Good, from what she told me," Arin's answer was short, and you knew that they probably didn't talk too much about it, "She did answer pretty much all of the questions I had brewing around, and we talked about the joint reddit post. She's completely on-board with that, and to just let her knew when I'm ready to do it and she'll join in." 

"That's good, I guess. I'm glad she's doing okay," Your answers felt lackluster, but you weren't sure how to respond to something like that. 

"I think I'll run it by everyone else like I said, and then I'll post somethin'. I'm impatient, I just wanna share your cute lil face with the world," He reached over and pinched your cheek, and you swatted him away with a laugh. 

"I know, I just don't wanna be in a big spotlight. I'm too anxious for that kind of thing." 

"It's not really as bad as you think it is, dude. Sometimes people recognize us, but for the most part it's pretty chill. How would you feel about maybe joining on as an editor or something?" Arin's offer was tempting, but you remember that you literally have no experience in editing, and it just would be a disaster. You voice these opinions, and he hummed over it for a minute before offering a solution, "I'm sure Barry could teach you. It would take a bigass piece of the workload off him so he could work on his own projects, I doubt he'd say no." 

"Let's ask him first, before we decide anything," You interrupted, and Arin reached over to pat your knee. 

"Anythin' you want, lil mama. It's just a suggestion, I'm selfish and I want you around all the time. If you were an editor you'd be at the Grump Space every day, and I could gaze upon you constantly." 

"Arin, I'm there pretty much all the time when I'm not working, anyway." 

"Yeah, but if you join on as an editor, you can quit your shitty office job you hate and hang out with all of us cool kids." 

"I'll think about it," You sighed, and Arin practically glowed in his little victory. What a doofus. You made that last thought known, and he didn't do anything besides smile at the road in front of you. 

 

It turns out, Barry almost cried when Arin asked if he'd teach you to edit and help with some of the workload. When he was at the Grump Space, he was almost always working on something for the channel, or animating title cards, or working on his own projects. You hadn't seen the man actually relax, poor dude. 

He sent you home with a copy of Adobe Premiere CS6, and told you to familiarize yourself with it and watch the video he posted on the GrumpOut channel. He also tossed a flashdrive at you with the raw files for the video he was editing in the tutorial, so you could follow along. 

You hadn't actually given Arin a concrete answer. However, he seemed to think you were just gonna do it anyway ,and he saddled you with your impromptu apprenticeship under Barry Kramer. It was irritating, you had to admit. Arin was overpowering at some times, and the best you could do is to just try and hang on for dear life. 

"Heyyyy, buggaboo-" 

"Shh, Arin I'm trying to _learn_ ," You waved him off as you hunched over the laptop you brought to the Grump Space. Arin and Dan were trying to record episodes today, but they took a bathroom break and Arin decided to use his leftover time to bother you instead. What a little stinker 

"Give me attention," He whined, climbing over the back of the couch and hovering over your shoulder to watch you follow along with Barry's tutorial, "Dan is pooping, I'm lonely." 

"Why don't you guys just poop together, then you'll never have to be apart?" You said absently, rewinding the video so you could rewatch a part that Arin had distracted you from. 

"Oh my _God_ , you're a genius. DAAAAAN," His screech made you jump and you scrambled to keep your laptop in your grasp while he leaped back over the rear of the couch. You shot him a glare and tried to tune out their shenanigans. Despite his mild clinginess, if you told him that you really needed space to work on something, he would immediately respect that. 

"How's it comin'?" You felt yourself bristle at _another_ interruption. Barry had walked up and you sucked in a breath to calm yourself down. It's just Barry, now's the time to ask questions. Nothing to worry about. Cool it. 

"Good, kind of slow because I have to keep rewatching things, and googling the shortcuts." 

"Oh! I can just write 'em down for you on a post-it if you want, you can tape it to the side of the screen or something. That's what I did for a while when I first learned how to use Adobe. Gimme like five minutes?" He jammed his hands in the pockets of his jeans and spun on his heel when you nodded at him. 

Finally, the sweet bliss of silence. You weren't completely alone – Ross was a few feet away on the bean bag chairs scrolling through his phone in peace. Bless him and his internet addiction. Barry came back a few minutes later, like promised, and brought you the post-it with the shortcuts. He also had a strip of tape on the side so you could stick it to your screen and see it easily. 

"Lemme know if you have any other questions, aight? I'll be over at my desk, like always. Forever. Becoming one with the chair. Goodbye! Farewell! Adios!" He slowly backed away and you couldn't stop the smile that cracked on your face at his antics. What a doofus. 

Your phone chimed, and you felt that irritation bubble back up, but it withered away when you saw that it was Suzy. 

_Hey there chica, how are things?_

Your heart started to race as soon as you read it. It was so innocent but god damnit, this was your soulmate's ex-wife. How could it not be anxiety-inducing? It doesn't matter how nice she is. Was there an ulterior motive? Your hands sweat nervously as you tried to formulate a response in your head. 

"She's just being nice," Barry leaned his elbows on the back of the couch next to your head and hovered over your shoulder to see your phone. 

"H-How do you know?" 

"Because I literally just talked to her. She still wants to be friends with you, but respect your boundaries, I guess? You don't have to answer if you really don't want to, but... it'll probably make things easier considering she's still a part of Game Grumps and you might end up working with her at some point?" Barry half-heartedly shrugged and tapped a beat on the cushion next to your shoulder with his hands. 

"I guess I'm just kind of scared that she's upset, even if she said she wasn't. _I_ would be upset if I were her." 

"But you're not, you and Suzy are completely different people and she wants to be your friend. Look, I'm totally not here to tell you what to do or some shit, but I think you should take that olive branch," He gently pat you on the shoulder and left for his desk again, leaving you staring at the offending text message. She had sent another one during the short conversation with Barry – a smiling emoji. 

With a steadying breath, you answered.


	6. Car Conversations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yooo I do requests at chickenparm.tumblr.com
> 
> Does this shit still feel gender neutral? I think it's swaying to be more feminine. Probably gonna drop the neutral tag, but still try my best to keep it that way regardless.

Two months after you first started hanging around with Arin, he finally posted the Reddit announcement. 

You sat on the couch in the Grump Space as he monitored the thread, bouncing your legs up and down in pure, unfiltered anxiousness. The only thing that stopped you was Arin's hand falling to rest on your knee to ground you back to reality, "It's not as bad as you're thinkin'. For the most part, people are being really cool about things." 

"For the most part?" 

"I'm not gonna tell you what to do or anything, but I'd probably steer clear from the subreddit for a while," Was Arin's response, and it only made you start freaking out again. The last thing you wanted was all these people to be angry at you, and be angry at Arin and Suzy for leaving each other. This was affecting their careers. Oh god, you're going to be the reason Game Grumps breaks up. 

"Here's one, 'All my love and support to Arin and his Soulmate, and Suzy in her future endeavors. You do you, booboo'," You laughed at Barry's reading of one of the comments, and it did help a little bit to soothe your nerves again. 

Deciding to distract yourself, you pulled your laptop up from the coffee table to your lap, and tried to dump your attention into editing. You still insisted Barry approve all of your work before it was posted, but for the most part you had fallen into the rhythm of the editing style of Game Grumps. The guys still called for Barry to edit things in, respectfully keeping you out of the spotlight until you were formally introduced. 

"It's like... 80-20 in favor of support, and even then people aren't really freaking out. This is going pretty fuckin' well, I think," Arin piped in, typing away at his keyboard in what you assumed was a response to a question. It had turned into an impromptu AMA, and Suzy had been very cooperative this entire time. 

Speaking of Suzy, you had taken Barry's advice and started talking to her in earnest. You still felt pretty fuckin' weird about the whole thing, but she was always the one to text first and ask how things were going. It threw you for a loop when she asked if you wanted to hang out when she came around next. It was a baffling request, but you agreed. 

Your head snapped to where Arin was sitting with Barry next to him, reading a comment on the screen. You could just make it out, and the words made your stomach twist uncomfortably. Homewrecker, whore, gold digger, liar – those were the words your eyes zeroed in on. Arin noticed your watery gaze and immediately dropped the laptop in Barry's lap to move to you. 

You slammed your own computer shut and dropped it on the couch to scoop up your keys and coat. Arin called for you to wait and you hurried toward the door, ignoring their cries for you to stop. The door to the Grump Space slammed shut behind you, and you barrelled down the stairs to your car. Through the haze of your tears, you regretted not bringing your laptop, but that was small compared to what was happening now. 

You knew things like that were being said, but reading it with your own two eyes was another story. The door to the building slammed open when you reached your car, but you were tearing out of the parking lot before Arin could even make it a few steps in your direction. You didn't know where you were going, but you knew you needed to get out of that entire situation for a bit. 

You knew you weren't crazy – you were exactly what those people said, they just affirmed it even more. A homewrecker, a gold digging whore, a liar. You sobbed as you turned down side streets. You weren't worried about getting lost, your phone was at full battery and you had a GPS there. Instead, you just looked for somewhere that you could pull over and park to cry it out. 

Cool, an international grocery store's tiny parking lot. 

Your phone buzzed with a message, and you looked down at Arin's text begging you to come back. You didn't want to ignore him, this wasn't his fault. The phone in your hand beeped quietly with every button press, your response asking for a little space. Arin asked where you were and you told him immediately. 

You probably sat there crying for a good hour before Arin's car finally pulled up and he slid into yours quickly. Everything had dried up, and you were just picking at the skin around your fingernails at this point. You'd gotten your alone time, and you appreciated Arin's effort at waiting before coming to you. 

"C'mere, babe," He opened his arms and you leaned across the center console to lay against his chest. He tucked your jacket under you so the parking break wouldn't dig into your side before rubbing soothing circles against the tiny amount of visible skin at your waist, "You know that person pretty much got lynched by other fans, right?" 

"That doesn't make what they said any less true," You sighed against his collarbone, and the sigh Arin released matched your own. 

"That's a lie and you know it. We've been over this like, once a day since we got together." 

"We're not even together," You argued, and he laughed as he pressed a kiss to the crown of your head. 

"We kinda are. I mean, we don't kiss and this is probably our first time actually cuddling but we both know our intentions." 

"Still. It doesn't change that I've felt strange since this whole thing started. I wanted to take this slow because I thought it would go away, but it's been like, two months and I still feel like an intruder in someone else's spot at the lunch table," You uncrossed your arms and wrapped them around Arin's midsection. He smelled like cologne, and kind of like sweat from trying to get to you before you left, which was kind of gross but you just focused pointedly on the cologne. 

"See, there's your problem. You aren't taking anyone's spot because it's always been _your_ spot. I have the scars on my wrist to prove it. I have always been yours, and you've always been mine. I have been waiting my entire life for you," Arin spoke into your hair. You could feel his facial hair tickling your scalp, and it gave you goosebumps. 

"No. You were supposed to be with Suzy. This was just a big universal joke. I shouldn't have agreed to ever let Suzy introduce us." 

"If I was meant to be with Suzy, why do I feel like right here, sitting in the passenger seat of your shittyass car... this is where I'm supposed to be? Here with you, so I can hold you and kiss you and wipe your tears. So I can tell you that everything inside of me calls out for you every minute of every day," He kissed your head again, right before his arms wrapped around your midriff to pull you closer to him. He was shaking. 

"Please don't say you regret this, any of it. I can't really handle the thought that my soulmate thought meeting me was a bad thing. Every night I lay in bed and think about how fuckin' badly I want you to be there next to me," He was very obviously trying to fight back tears. You squeezed him tighter in return and buried your face into his shoulder. 

"I'm so sorry that you feel like this is all wrong. I swear to god, I'll do everything I can from now on to change that. If you walked away from me, it'd probably kill me. You're literally my other half," His voice cracked at the end, and the two of you finally lapsed into silence that stretched for minutes. You inhaled his scent again and finally lifted your head to press a kiss at the corner of his lips – the closest you'd gotten to actually kissing him. 

"I won't leave," You swore, and his lopsided smile was enough to break through the dark cloud that had been hanging around you for months. 

 

After sitting in the grocery store's parking lot for another hour, the two of you finally returned to the Grump Space. The AMA was over by this point, but Barry had handled it in Arin's stead. Nobody said anything about what had transpired. Your laptop was where you left it, but before you could sink back into the couch, Dan pulled you to his chest for a lingering hug. 

"Ugh, I was so worried-" 

"I'm sorry," You apologized, and he shushed you dramatically with a finger to your lips. 

"It's all in the past now, my sweet," He guided you to the kitchenette and gave you a water bottle and a granola bar. Arin followed, unusually quiet, and sunk onto the bench immediately to your right so your thighs were touching. You leaned into his warmth and he wrapped an arm around your shoulders to hold you there. 

Dan's face melted into a fond smile and he gave the two of you a sly wink before he tip-toed back to the bean bags to grab his phone. As you picked at the bar, Arin leaned down so you could hear his mumbling, "Come to my house tonight? I won't do anything, I just... really need you there, I guess. I was so afraid you were gonna leave my ass today." 

"I... yeah. Yeah, I can do that," You answered, voice a bit hoarse from your sobbing a few hours ago. He smoothly pressed a kiss to your temple before resuming speech at a normal tone. 

"I was thinking we could maybe work on an introduction video for you soon, and we can release it whenever you feel like you're ready?" 

"Um, yeah. Maybe give it some time... I don't think it would be good to do it so soon," Whether it would be bad for the fans or bad for your mental health, you don't elaborate. It's six of one and a half-dozen of the other. 

You sat quietly in the kitchenette while Arin finally broke away to finish looking at the AMA and answer a few messages that he'd been ignoring on his phone. It was almost another hour before he started packing up to leave. You took that as your cue and started as well. If anyone noticed that the two of you were leaving together, they didn't say a single word. Not even furtive glances or quiet mumbles. 

You were going to bring your car, but Arin said that as long as it had the parking permit in the back window, it could be left there overnight. No use in wasting gas on two cars when one can be used just as well, he reasoned. No arguments there. You climbed into the passenger's seat and after you buckled in, he reached across the center console to lace your hands together. It made your heart flutter. 

The drive to his house was short, you assumed he chose somewhere close so he wouldn't have to commute so far. There was a comfortable silence up until Arin pulled the car into the garage, "You hungry, buggaboo?" 

"Literally starving. I might actually die before I make it to the door," You said, leveling Arin with a serious look. He tried to return it, but instead his face cracked into a smile and he waved you off. You followed him inside, and he guided you to the kitchen to sit down while he figured something out to eat. 

As you walked, you noticed unsettling empty spaces in the house. Empty nails on the wall, indents in the carpet where furniture had once sat, entire bare shelves on bookcases. If he was feeling the loss of Suzy, he didn't seem to make it known, instead heading to the fridge to dig around for something to make for dinner. 

"Sorry, haven't been down the ole grocery store lately. Been eatin' a lot of takeout," He explained, poking his head over the door of the fridge to give you an apologetic gaze. You laughed and set your elbow on the table to prop your chin on your hand. 

"I have cash on me, wanna just order pizza?" 

"Honestly? I wanted to suggest that, but I thought it would seem lazy on my part," You laughed at him, and just missed the small smile that spread across his face. Instead, you pulled your phone out of your back pocket to find a place to order from. 

"Any suggestions? I don't know Glendale very well-" 

"Hell yeah, gimme. There's this one place Su-" You could practically hear tires screeching as he stopped himself. You weren't mad at his slip-up, the look on his face was way too comical to even think of that. Arin seemed to realize that he hadn't offended you, so he focused on sliding the phone out of your fingers and dialing a number to order pizza. 

As he did, you wandered into the living room that you passed through. He had game systems here to rival the stockpile at the Grump Space. You curled up on the end of the couch and tapped a quiet beat on your knees while you waited for Arin to come back in. There wasn't a coffee table in front of the couch you were on, but you could see four places on the floor where legs to one had sat before. 

To the left of the television was a shelf that was completely empty, but had an inch-long strip of dust on the front edges where the end of movies had probably sat. You didn't want to feel the doom cloud roll in, but you couldn't stop it when you thought about how this should be _Suzy's_ house. Her belongings should still be on these shelves and hanging on the empty nails. 

Arin, bless his heart, came in and realized exactly what you were thinking. It must have shown clearly on your face, because he sat next to you and wrapped an arm around your shoulders to pull you to his side, "Hope you like anchovies, I got triple, with extra garlic sauce." 

"And pineapple?" 

"That's where I draw the line," Arin sent you a mock glare, and you laughed before agreeing and settling against him while he turned the television on. Arin asked if you wanted to watch a movie or play a game, and you compromised and decided to watch him play something instead. He chose something for the Wii that you hadn't heard of, but the bright colors and cheerful music were enough to distract you from the feelings that threatened you moments ago. 

Arin didn't seem to have any problems playing with one arm looped around you, and you made no effort to move. What had happened in the car seemed to break down a wall you didn't realize was there – the one that kept you from getting close to him despite everything. You closed your eyes and told yourself that even though Suzy had lived here before, you weren't invading. This was meant to be. 

It had to be, right? 

Dinner arrived at the door and was eaten between rounds of the game that Arin had eventually roped you into playing with him. It was late into the night before he saved it and shut the system off so the two of you could go to bed. He hesitated at the top of the stairs, looking at a few doors instead of making eye contact with you. 

"Uh, if you wanna, you can take my bed, I can set the guest room up for myself-" 

"Or we could just share, doofus. I trust you," You reached up to tug on the end of his hair to get him to look at you, and gave him your best reassuring smile when you did. His tension melted immediately into a smile and he brought you to the first door to the right – his bedroom. Before you could ask for something to wear to bed, he dug in one of the dresser drawers to give you a pair of sweatpants. 

You ducked into the bathroom to pull them on, took your bra off so you could sleep comfortably, and came back to see Arin already in bed, sprawled out. You laughed at him and gently nudged your bra just under the bed out of sight. With a goofy face, he beckoned you to him and you obliged by crawling under the blankets to be by his side. 

"Lemme spoon you, you smell good," Arin nudged you to turn away from him, and gathered you to his chest. Good god, he ran warm. You shuffled a bit so your feet were outside of the blanket, and let yourself relax in his hold. 

Arin inhaled in your hair before sighing and pressing a kiss to the top of your head, "Thank you. I mean it." 

You said nothing, just reached up to scratch the side of his head in acknowledgement before letting yourself drift to sleep.


	7. Wendy's

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a tumblr - chickenparm.tumblr.com
> 
> I take requests. I also reblog lots of Game Grumps stuff. I also smell really good - I wear Beyonce.

You woke to Arin's morning breath puffing in your face, and his arms wrapped around you like a vice. 

"Arinnn," You whined, trying to wiggle out of his grasp, He groaned and let you go before turning to bury his head under his pillows. The sun was just high enough in the sky to shine through the window and hit the bed. You weren't normally a morning person, but for some reason you felt like a million bucks. 

"Go back to sleep," His muffled voice came out, and you pinched him in the side before sliding out of bed to use his shower. He owned some amazing shampoo, but all his body wash was manly. You used it anyway. You had to reuse your clothes from yesterday, but it's not like you did anything strenuous besides cry your eyes out, so it was safe. 

Arin was sitting up in bed, blinking blearily in the light of the sun. He'd somehow lost both his t-shirt and pajama pants in the night, and was just sitting in a pair of boxers. His look of complete irritation brightened your day even further. In the back of your head, you were happy to realize that he wouldn't mind sleeping in way too late with you. 

"C'mon, go shower and we'll get you groceries," You walked around the bed to grab his hand and try to pull him out of bed. He groaned and climbed out of the blanket nest to get ready for the day. You took the time to make his bed how you thought it was supposed to be. He had a million throw pillows, what the hell? 

You were sitting on the bottom step of his staircase when he finally finished and came down to leave. He'd blow-dried his hair and put the cologne on again, you couldn't resist inhaling as he slid by you to put his shoes on. Flip-flops. 

He turned to you as you were knotting the laces of your sneakers and waited for you to stand up straight before asking, "Can I kiss you?" 

"I... what?" 

"Sorry, that's kind of weird-" 

"No, you can, I just wasn't expecting it," You laughed at the blush slowly creeping up his cheeks, but you didn't get a chance to admire it before he swooped down to press his lips against yours. Your hands grabbed his shoulders, steadying yourself from the surprise attack before you returned the gesture. 

He pulled away with the reddest face you ever seen, and hurriedly walked out the door to get in the car. You watched after him fondly, smile creeping across your face. 

 

Grocery shopping with Arin was the most inefficient thing you'd ever seen. He didn't set a budget, had no clue what he wanted, and got distracted by every possible product in the store. Eventually, you dragged him around enough to get the basics, and lured his interest in the whole affair back in by letting him buy whatever else he wanted as extras. 

Back in the car, he apologized and explained his ADHD, paired with the fact that Suzy used to do all of the grocery shopping, along with the bills. The bills he could do, but he had put off going to the store because he knew it was going to be a literal nightmare to do it on his own. You pressed a kiss to his cheek at this, and promised to come with again next time to make it easier. 

After groceries were put away and a late breakfast was cobbled together, the two of you went to the Grump Space to clock in some hours on video editing and whatever odd project Arin was focusing on for the day. Only Ross was there, and he waved at the both of you with headphones over his ears. You moved to head to your favorite spot on the couch, but not before Arin gently tugged your elbow so you would turn around. 

You were surprised by a kiss on the cheek before he ditched you to go make funny faces at Ross over the top of their computer screens. You rolled your eyes with a smile. What a doofus. 

Dan arrived almost an hour afterward, and awkwardly stood in front of you while you finished editing the little flourish you were working on for one of the new Game Grumps episodes. You finally pulled your headphones off to look at the giddy grin he was giving you. 

"Do you listen to NSP at all?" 

"And TWRP, yeah," You answered hesitantly, unsure of what he was planning. Dan with that kind of expression on his face was normally not a good thing. He gestured over his shoulder to the Grump Room with his thumb. 

"I may or may not be working on some super special secret music, thought you might wanna come hang out and get a little sneak peek." 

You brightened up immediately and tucked your laptop under your arm to follow him. It took him a little bit to get everything set up – Brian was in New York City for an event he was attending, but the two of them wanted to go over some basic vocal melodies and find what might work best. You curled up in Arin's spot with your laptop and Dan sat to your right with his computer on the coffee table. 

"Okay, can you make sure your headphones are plugged in your laptop, and your phone is on mute? These aren't like, final mixes or anything, but it's less distracting," Dan asked, opening Skype and calling Brian. It rang for almost a full minute before he finally answered. You obliged Dan and made sure you wouldn't make any startling noises. 

"Hey Bri, is it cool if we have a small audience? I wanted to give them a lil sneaky-peeky," Dan turned the laptop to show you to Brian, and the man on the computer screen lit up with a smile. 

"Oh, hey! That's fine," Brian gave the two of you a thumbs up before he was turned back to look at Dan. They got to work right away, leaving you to tune in and out between Arin's swearing through your headphones, and Dan singing the same lyric over and over until he got it how they wanted it. On the bottom left of your screen, a little notification popped up with a Facebook message from Barry. 

You opened it, and he was asking if you were able to maybe talk about some of his ideas on an introduction video today. You hesitated, before responding that you'd talk about it today but you weren't quite ready to have anyone actually know you. Just yesterday you'd witnessed the worst that could happen, and you weren't quite ready to face that again. 

The two of you spoke over messenger since you weren't nearly ready to leave Dan and the soothing sound of his voice. It was irritating having to type so slowly so your key clicks didn't distract Dan, but he realized what you were doing and told you that it wasn't that big of a deal. Thank goodness. 

Barry's first suggestion was to not make any mention whatsoever that you were soulmates with Arin. The fans can put two and two together. He also wanted to make it known that you were going to be an editor – especially pointing out that you'd been editing for them for a few weeks now. Maybe have Arin comment on Barry's editing, and have you pop in and dispute Barry taking credit. 

He had some good plans, and you weren't very picky. The two of you agreed on a time to get it all fleshed out and recorded, and he went off to verify it with everyone else. It wouldn't be posted for some time, but it would be nice to have it all set and done for when you were actually ready to take that leap. 

Dan took a break from recording to go to the bathroom, and Arin snatched that chance to poke his head in and request your presence for a steamy lunch date. Who were you to say no to that? You packed your things up and followed him closely, "Anywhere in particular you wanna eat?" 

"Nope, I'm fine with anything," You answered, just as he cut you off to open the passenger side door of the car for you. You placed your hand on his bicep and kissed him on the cheek in thanks before sliding in. Arin followed quickly and made it known that you were going to Wendy's, the food of the gods. 

The ride was filled with music from his stereo, and he demanded that the two of you go inside to eat instead of going directly back to the Grump Space. No big deal, you thought to yourself as you slid into a booth and waited for Arin to bring the tray of food to you. Things went peacefully for a while, before Arin was recognized. 

"Oh shit, hey! I'm sorry, can I get a picture?" A young man, probably in his early twenties, practically ran across the restaurant to get to where the two of you were sitting. Arin gave you a hesitant look that you returned, before he agreed and broke into conversation with the fan. 

You sipped your drink in silence, but practically choked when the guy turned to you, "I'm sorry, who are you? I don't recognize you." 

"Uh, just a friend-" 

"Friends hold hands when walking through parking lots, huh?" The sly smile that spread across his face made your heart start beating erratically. Oh god, he was going to cause trouble. You knew it. He seemed to notice the look of sheer panic on your face, and he waved his hands in front of him to try and placate you. 

"No! No, no, no. It's not like that. I saw the subreddit, I know you're his soulmate. Look, I'm cool with it. Those kinds of things happen, the same shit happened to my parents. My Dad was married, and got a divorce to be with my mom before I was born," His words made all of the tension in your body release. He noticed this, and gave you the best smile he possibly could. 

"I'm happy for you guys. I don't know about anyone else, but I can tell from the recent episodes that you've been a lot happier, Arin. If people can't be cool with you like... finding your other half? Then fuck 'em," Arin seemed to think for a second, before offering for the guy to come sit with the two of you and hang out for a bit. 

He took that offer immediately and brought his food over, and introduced himself as Sean. His first question upon returning was if you were going to be a part of Game Grumps. Arin paused his answer and you waved him off, "I've actually been editing for them for a couple weeks now. I just haven't been comfortable really outing myself, especially after yesterday." 

"Oh. I really think you should – I promise most of us fans are going to be cool with you. Unfortunately, in the Game Grumps fan base, the minority is the most vocal. People like to complain about shit, y'know? Just think about it, don't take anything bad from yesterday to heart," His words really struck a chord – he was right. It's not like you have to read any comments anyway, and you weren't going to be doing any big sketches. 

"You're right. I'll think on it, thank you," Sean exchanged smiles with you, and he and Arin started up a conversation of their own that you tuned out in favor of thinking about his advice. You and Arin finished eating first, and Sean wanted to take one more picture with you included in it. He hesitated sharing it on his twitter. Arin and you shared glaces before Arin nodded and assured Sean that he could share it. 

Once you were back in the car, Arin was quick to ask if you were alright. With a deep breath, you told him that yes, you were fine, "I need to come out of this shell, Arin. It's like the conversation we had yesterday, I need to settle in or I'll never be ready to be a part of all this in my own time." 

"Fair enough. Things will turn out okay, I'll protect you with my big manly physique." 

"I knew I could count on you," You said in mock tears, and the two of you dissolved into giggles as you pulled back into the parking lot of the Grump Space. Before you could get out of the car, Arin grabbed your attention and pressed a quick peck to your lips. He pulled away and you made a noise of irritation, keeping your lips puckered so he got the hint to come back for another. And another. And one more, for good measure.


	8. Schmate Schmumps

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hate this chapter and how boring it is. here's some fluffy-ass filler with a tiny little bit of plot in the middle.
> 
> also, thank you for 400 hits and 40 kudos, bless u my children.
> 
> also also i have a tumblr, chickenparm.tumblr.com.

Three days later, you and Barry put the finishing touches on your Introduction Video and sent it out into the great wide internet. 

You anxiously sat on Arin's couch while he was upstairs packing. He was shipping out to San Francisco for the weekend to perform in his band with Dan and Brian. He offered you the chance the come with, but with Barry beginning to film his next "How 'Bout This Game?", you had to put in some more leg work to make sure the video editing queue didn't get backed up over the weekend. 

That would be a daunting task in itself, however. As you pieced together a small clip-art animation on one of the episodes you were working on, you could see your phone on the coffee table with Twitter open. At Barry's firm suggestion, you had made an account a few weeks ago and it was being inundated. Barry, bless his heart, put the handles for your social media accounts in the description of the video. 

You didn't look at it any further than that, though. You were afraid of what you'd see. 

Arin thudded down the stairs with his suitcase in tow, the damn thing hitting every step on the way down as he dragged it. You looked over your shoulder to give him a stern look, and he just pulled his head back to make chins at you with crossed eyes. Wow, rude. 

Arin left his bag by the door and walked behind you to press a sloppy kiss on your cheek. You laughed and tried to move away, but he climbed over the back of the couch to lay himself all over you. He knocked your laptop out of your hands and it thudded to the floor, and you screeched, "Arin!" 

"Shhhh, just love me," He exaggerated a seductive tone of voice, and his height advantage over you made it difficult to stop him from gathering you into his arms and squeezing you to his chest, "I'll call you when I get up there?" 

"I'll make sure I'm awake," You answered him, and he pressed his lips to your forehead. Your laughs bubbled out of your mouth as he blew a raspberry on your face. What a doofus, you grumbled under your breath. He still heard it. 

"You gotta go, Arin. You're gonna miss your flight." 

"Nah, I'll be fine. Brian likes being to the airport six bajillion years early, I've got lo-o-oads of time," Still, he untangled himself from you and headed to slip on his flip-flops. You followed to give him a chaste kiss at the door, and he slipped out after pressing his house keys into your hand. 

You'd promised to feed the cat, singular because Suzy had taken Mimi and Arin had kept Mochi. Arin said you're more than welcome to just stay the whole weekend at the house while he was gone. You were sorely tempted to take that offer, but things still felt weird when you were on your own in the house. It still didn't really feel like you belonged here. 

Either way, you toughed it out and got back to work on the episode. It wouldn't be posted for at least another week, but you did not want to fall behind, considering there was another Grump Session scheduled for the Monday that was coming up. Mochi settled next to you, laying just close enough to so you could pet his butt every once in awhile. 

You caved and picked up your phone finally. With Arin here, you had the will to ignore it, but now you were alone and ready to wallow in that sinkhole. Your followers had risen a hefty amount, for sure, but what startled you was the outpouring of support. You bit your lip to suppress a smile, and took the time to respond to a few people. 

Among your followers, a few started to make your heart race in excitement. Of course, the Grumps had followed you as soon as you made the account, but you were elated to see that you now were being followed by Markiplier, as well as Jacksepticeye, and a few other names you knew well. Also... Suzy. You clicked her profile, feeling awkward at the slight stalking you were performing. 

Her tweets for the past month or so have been about her channel, her Etsy store, and retweets of funny videos from the Game Grumps twitter. She seemed happy, but it's easy to fake those kinds of things over the internet. With a quiet sigh, you set your phone upside down next to you. Gotta get back to work. 

Mochi meowed until you pet his butt again. 

 

Things went well until Monday, and even beyond that. Arin's show was a success, you got caught up on the video queue, the new Grump Session went off without a hitch, and it finally felt like you were getting into a groove over the next month or so. 

Arin eventually nagged you into just moving in with him, since you're over there every night anyway and you both are soulmates so what's the point of having separate apartments? Also, Mochi liked you, which was cool. You moved your things into the empty spaces that Suzy left behind, got your own house key and parking space, and everything started to click into place. 

Things were cool, until Suzy called Barry and told him that she was going to be coming back to work. 

It made sense, she was their manager after all. Ross had handled a lot of it while she was gone, but apparently she'd gotten her thoughts gathered together and was ready to return. Arin noticed as soon as your face lost its color, and made a sneaky getaway with you to the stairs outside of the Grump Space. 

"Hey, hey, hey," He helped you to sit down on the top step, and he squeezed in next to you with his arm around your shoulder. You wrung your hands in your lap and tried not to pick at your nails to ruin them anymore. 

"She's gonna come back and I'm still all weird, and I really don't wanna cause trouble Arin, but I can't stop myself from feeling like things are going to be so fucky-" 

"C'mon now," He interrupted your rambling and pulled you so your head was tucked under his chin. You accepted his embrace and wrapped your arms around his middle, "You don't have anything to worry about, alright? Look, Suzy and I have talked about this a lot. She isn't upset. Suzy has had a lot of time to think about things and trust me, she is okay. She wants to be your friend." 

"I want to be her friend too," You said quietly into his shirt and he laughed gently as his hand rubbed across your back in soothing circles. 

"Then be her friend. Everything is gonna turn out fine. All these things you're worrying about are going to seem bogus when you guys are around each other again," Arin quickly pressed a kiss to the top of your head and pulled back to look down at your face, "Are you okay, now? Do you wanna go back in and work? We can sit out here for a while if you feel like it, whatever your lil butt desires." 

"Let's um... let's go back in. I have some ice-cream stashed in the freezer, that makes everything better." 

Despite Arin's words, Suzy's impending arrival at the end of next month seemed like a looming cloud on the horizon. You didn't _want_ to think of her like that, but you just... couldn't stop. It was constantly nagging in the back of your head, and after the ice-cream in the fridge and a few nights spooning and being spooned by Arin, you realized why. 

You were falling for him, hard and fast. Arin and Suzy had been together for years and years, and you had barely been around for over three months. One day, at lunch with Tara who you'd been severely neglecting, she hit you with it bluntly, "Look. Your name is on his wrist. He is yours; You are his. It's science. No matter what, _you_ are always gonna be first to him. Arin is always gonna choose you. Even if he was married to Suzy for like, fifty fuckin' years... His heart, his brain, basically every cell in his body is gonna be reaching for you every second of every day for the rest of your lives." 

As petty as it was, that really made you feel better. Yeah, you belonged to each other. There was never a case of soulmates choosing someone else over each other. It just didn't happen. Everything in your body would tug and pull to be with that person. No matter what happened when Suzy came back next month, you wouldn't lose Arin. 

 

With Valentine's Day creeping closer, Arin sat you down and asked if you wanted to do Date Grumps. You immediately wanted to say no – you didn't want to be a big part of this YouTube thing. Then, you realized that it was too late for that. The picture with Sean from Wendy's spread like wildfire, along with your introduction video. For fuck's sake, you had your own article on the Game Grumps Wiki. 

After almost thirty seconds of silence, which was just long enough to make Arin start to fidget uncomfortably, you relented, "Okay... But I get to pick the game." 

Your agreement was all he cared about, and you had a disgusting plan rolling around in your head for your first Let's Play. His babbling about times you could record was just the icing on the cake. 

 

Sitting in the Grump Room with a microphone in your face and sitting in Dan's spot seemed surreal. Normally, you would only be in here to casually play something, but now the recording equipment was ready to start, and Arin was setting up the time-keeping paperwork. While he did that, you finished loading the game into the N64. 

Arin hit record, you turned on the system and plopped down next to him with baited breath as it loaded in, "Hey guys! Whoa, it's Date Grumps! I have no idea what we're playing. What are we playing?" 

"Wait and see. Oh, here it comes," You trailed off just as the N64 logo popped up with the cute little cheer of a Pikachu, "Pokemon Stadium 2, only one of the best games ever." 

"Oh man. Oh dang. Oh jeeze," Arin said quickly in time with the opening cinematic showing cool shots of low-graphic Pokemon. You turned and nudged his knee with your own, and he looked down at you with a smile. Quietly, he pressed a kiss to your forehead so the mics wouldn't pick it up. 

"So, I took some time to get things ready, and I remade your Fire Red Team on the Silver cartridge hooked up to your controller. Ready to get your bundt kicked?" 

"Hah, bundt. I'll make you eat that bundt, I'm a fuckin' Pokemon Master," The trash talking began. You knew this game forward and backward, though. Arin didn't stand a snowball's chance in hell. 

It took a minute to get everything set up for a one-on-one battle, but you'd slapped together a team pretty quickly on your old Crystal game to counter Arin's – Starmie, Pidgeot, Omastar, Venusaur, Steelix, and Typhlosion. He chattered while you set the battle up, talking about how wonderful it was to be back again with his old team, especially GREG and Buntd,. 

"Alright, let's do this," Arin was cocky as the first two Pokemon were sent out from each side, and his face fell when he saw that you had sent your Venusaur out first, compared to his Golduck. A sick sort of glee filled you as the battle began and he started to get his ass reamed. 

"I wish we'd set up a face cam, so you can see the utter desolation on Arin's face, guys," You laughed and he shoved your shoulder to make you fall over and choose the wrong move. Didn't matter, his pokemon had low HP and died anyway from it. 

"This isn't fair. You must be cheating-" 

"Nope, I'm just better at Pokemon. I'm the Pokemon Master and you're the Pokemon Schmaster," You teased, finishing his last Pokemon off. It might've been a bit unfair, you had time to set things up in your favor. It still felt damn good, though. 

"Alright! Next time on Date Grumps, I'm going to beat this lovely fucker," He quipped, and quickly wrote the time down on the sheet sitting on the coffee table. You laughed quietly and rubbed his knee in consolation. You took pity on him and chose one of the default teams for another battle, and he started the session up once more. 

"Welcome back to Date Grumps, where I beat this cute little shit's ass into next week," You blew a raspberry into the microphone and started the battle, explaining that you'd chosen a stock team so Arin felt like it was more fair. 

"Even though he can't admit that I am a far superior Pokemon Trainer. It's a no-brainer. It couldn't be plainer, I've got skills and Arin's just a complainer," You devolved into an off-beat rap, which was enough to make Arin belt out into belly-laughs. You felt the blush creep down your neck at your sudden outburst, and your palms started to get sweaty. Calm down, you told yourself, they did this kind of thing all the time. 

"Fuck that, MR MART is gonna kick you in the uh... shart." 

"Gross," You laughed, watching as your first Pokemon came out again and it was type-matched in your favor once more. You knew he'd send out Golduck again, so you sent out the Vileplume that you'd been given in the stock team as first on your roster. Time to completely destroy his morale. 

"No FUCKIN' way dude, you cheated!" Arin's voice had slowly started to gain volume as your surviving Pokemon outnumbered his own. He'd gotten a few of yours down, but you had three to his one that was almost dead. A quick Thunderbolt from your Raichu sent it down for the count and the controller was tossed. 

"It's gone, folks. The black controller has entered orbit. It's linking up to the International Space Station now," You said solemnly as it landed on the floor in front of the television. You saw him almost want to throw it farther, but the short cord would've taken the entire game system with it. 

"This is the worst date I've ever been on. Never have I been so disrespected in my fuckin' **LIFE**. Under my own roof! By my Soulmate! Fuck my ass, this is bullshit, I'm calling the police," He muttered the last part into the mic and you hummed and leaned closer to hear. 

"That sounds like the rant of a sore loser. See you guys later! Thanks for joining us on our date! Next time we go swimming with barracudas." 

"Honestly, that would hurt less than the war crimes committed in this room tonight."


	9. Aw, dingle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The most brief mention of smut at the end of the chapter, like half a paragraph. I'm not going to write actual smut for this one, just mentions. 
> 
> I have a tumblr - chickenparm.tumblr.com
> 
> I reblog Game Grumps stuff and make shitty gifs. Also, thanks for 50 kudos! bless u

When you walked into the Grump Space with your morning Jamba Juice and work supplies tucked under your arm, you were fully expecting to see some kind of bullshit shenanigans happening. What you did _not_ expect was to be the first one there, excluding only one person. 

Suzy. 

The sound of your feet screeching to a halt was almost audible, but the smile Suzy gave you as she swooped in for a hug overshadowed that. What the actual fuck was going on right now? Dan's car was outside, parked right next to Ross'. 

"They went out to get coffee with Barry," Suzy answered your silent question and she pulled back to give you a once over, holding you at arms length, "Look at you! You cut your hair." 

"Just uh... a trim?" You stammered, and she pulled you over to sit at the picnic table in the kitchenette area. She slid in next to you, and blasted right through the awkward veil you were trying to look through. 

"Okay, I'm going to make this quick before they get back. I know things are gonna be weird for a while. I'm not going to lie to you, I still love Arin," She stopped and took a chance by grasping one of your hands in her own. Suzy's admission made cold fear run through your veins, until Tara's stern advice rang back through your head. Arin wouldn't leave you. He wouldn't even entertain the idea. 

"I can tell from the look on your face that it worries you. It shouldn't. I understand, that part of my life is finished with, and I've come to terms with it while I was away. I want us to be friends, okay? I will never come between you and Arin. Literally never. I'll even go out of my way to make sure that it doesn't even look like I am," You tried to look away from her to the table top, but she only moved her head so she was in your line of sight, holding your gaze with conviction. 

"I just... things have been really weird. I moved in with Arin, and it took a long time for things to feel like I wasn't an intruder. I'm being honest, Suzy, you being here terrifies me, but I don't want you to sacrifice any friendship you have with Arin because you don't want me to be uncomfortable. It'll take time, but I think things are gonna come out okay," Suzy brightened at your words and pulled you back in for another hug. 

"I know they will. If anything, _I_ was the intruder, not you. Arin has always belonged to you. I guess I was just... borrowing him. I'm serious, I want us to be friends again, okay? Take all the time you need to feel comfortable, I will wait," Right as she pulled away, the door to the Grump Space opened and the trio came back with a tray of drinks from one of the coffee places nearby. That seemed to break the bubble you and Suzy had been in, and she swooped her drink up to get back to the work she'd been doing before you entered. 

"Hey, what's cookin' good lookin'," Dan slid into the spot Suzy had been in minutes before, and you immediately sagged against him. 

"We just had a little heart-to-heart before you guys came in. It helped." 

"That's good. I know you two haven't known each other for very long, but I know she doesn't want to hurt you," He pat the top of your head lovingly before pulling his phone out and opening the camera, "C'mon, let's take some bullshit pictures for the Instagram." 

Arin arrived late, and you felt a weird sense of relief when Suzy only greeted him with a smile and a wave, before she got back into the paperwork she was working on. Apparently, Ross had done a shitty job and things were so disorganized that it was astounding that anything actually got done. 

You had migrated from the kitchenette to the beanbags, where you were practicing artwork. You needed to brush up, especially if you wanted to participate in this Game Grumps stuff beyond editing videos. As much as you still had an aversion to the spotlight, you had already seen fan drawings of you and Arin. They made you want to get into doing art. You just needed a little refresher. 

Arin came over and flopped next to you, making you fuck up the line you were drawing. He only laughed at your angry grumbling, and rolled so he was pressed up against you tightly, "Whatcha doin', beb," 

"Beb? Also I'm trying to get better at drawing. I'm all caught up on editing so I'm bored." 

"We could ditch these nerds and go on a hot date," He said in a very bro-like voice, and you playfully rolled your eyes. 

"Like, I can't, babykins, I've gotta like... learn." 

Arin loved it when you'd crack and play along with him, and it egged him on to push the sketchpad off the bean bag and pose seductively, "I'm the only artwork you need to focus on, hot stuff." 

"Oh, Jesus Christ," You laughed, and gave up your spot to climb off the giant cushion in hopes of moving to the couch. Of course, he followed and sat down next to you so your thighs were pressed against one another's. You assumed he was going to keep fucking with you, because he seemed to be in that kind of mood today, but he only watched you quietly. 

Sometimes he'd look away to type on his phone to answer emails and messages, but he'd always come back and offer a suggestion to help you, even if you didn't always follow it. The Grump Space was unnaturally quiet today. It was nice to fool around sometimes, but these rare moments of actual work were a blessing. 

For a few hours. 

"OKAY, GRUMP MEETING," Barry called out across the room. He'd been mumbling with Suzy at her desk for almost half an hour now, so it seems like they'd figured something out. Everyone congregated back in the kitchenette. You stood back a bit, and no one seemed to notice. 

"Alright. PAX East is coming up, we've already reserved a booth and panel a few months back. We're gonna book the hotels and flights today, and finalize the roster with the coordinators, so who's all going?" While Barry talked, Suzy pulled her big calendar from her desk to the table and had everyone look at the dates for that weekend. Everyone mulled over it and compared it to their own calendars, before it came down to only Ross being unable to join for the weekend. 

You stood quietly while they went over things, until Suzy looked up and beckoned you over, "Are you gonna be able to join?" Her question baffled you. You assumed you didn't really _need_ to go, or maybe it wouldn't make sense. You were just an editor – but so was Barry, for the most part. You opened your mouth to deny it, until Arin piped up next to you. 

"Of course. We're sharing a room so we just need to book the plane ticket and put her on the roster-" 

"Wait, Arin. Hun, do you want to be listed on the roster? You'd be part of the Q&A panel, and the signing booth. You don't have to, you can just come along to soak in the expo," Suzy held a hand up to Arin to block him out, and her concern for your input on this was touching. Even more than touching, her explanation was frightening. Q&A? Signing? No one wants to see you, right? 

"There _have_ been a lot of comments asking about if you'd be at the expo, especially on the Date Grumps video. I know you don't think it, but people are interested in you," Dan's hand landed on your back to rub soothing circles, and you hummed over the decision for a few seconds before finally nodding. Suzy's face brightened and she scribbled your name on her notepad under the columns for plane ticket and final roster. 

Oh, sweet Jesus. 

 

"Ready to go home, my butternut squash?" 

You looked up at Arin with the most confused face you could muster. Since the meeting earlier, he'd been calling you the most outrageous names he could think of. Among them were "fresh bread slice," "warm blanket out of the dryer," and "saucy little eggroll." 

"As long as you never call me that again," You bargained as you started to pack your sketchbook away and gather your sweater and bag. Arin only laughed and slapped a kiss against your cheek as you headed out the door. After yelling your goodbyes into the room, you shut the door behind you and Arin stopped in his tracks. 

"Okay, when we get home, you're gonna tell me exactly what's going on in your head." 

"Nothing's-" 

"Shhhh, I'm not stupid, I know you well enough to know when there's some stinky shit brewing in that head of yours. Come tell daddy." 

"Oh, Jesus Christ," You freed yourself from the conversation to get in your car, and Arin only blew you a kiss as he hopped in his and sped out of the parking lot. With a heavy sigh, you followed him. 

 

"Okay, little caramel corn, what's up," Arin was pretty firm in dragging you to sit with him on the couch. You relented and leaned against him, and he took the chance to wrap you in his arms. Arin pulled you to lay with him against the arm of the couch, waiting patiently for you to crack and tell him what's wrong. 

"I am literally terrified about PAX East... and Suzy... and life in general." 

"Okay, we'll start from the first one, then." 

"I've never been in front of a crowd bigger than a classroom for Speech class... and I'm forever going to be terrified of not belonging here with you guys," Arin hummed thoughtfully as you continued to explain your constant state of anxiety, "I don't know why I keep seeing Suzy as this... I dunno, rival? For you?" 

Arin was quiet for a long time, and you could practically hear the gears turning in his head. Finally, you opened your mouth to elaborate more, but he gathered his thoughts enough to respond, "You don't have to worry about Suzy. Like, ever. I am so completely in love with you that it actually hurts when you aren't around. How I felt about Suzy doesn't even come within the distance of the fuckin' like... Earth to the Moon, compared to how I feel about you, okay? I love you." 

"Are you serious?" You lifted your head to look at him, heart racing from what you hoped was a completely real confession. His slow nod confirmed it and you leaned up to press your lips to his, digging your hands into the shirt covering his chest until your knuckles turned white. Arin accepted your kiss greedily, taking whatever you could give until you pulled away to take in a quick breath. 

He took the chance to scoop you off the couch as he stood up, and take you to the bedroom the two of you shared. Soon after he tossed you on the bed, he followed you into the sheets. As his hips connected with yours again and again, every worry you had went out the window when he buried his face in your neck and whispered repeatedly, _"I love you, I love you, I love you."_


	10. PAX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. I wrote myself into a corner that I wasn't sure how to get out of.

PAX East was the most stressful thing you'd ever endured. As soon as your plane touched down, you shot to the motel to check in, and then Suzy corraled the group to the Convention Hall to go over all the last-minute details of the booth and panel. The coordinator asked if there were any specific questions that you wanted filtered out in addition to anything inappropriate, and Barry immediately told her to block anything about the relationship between you, Arin, and Suzy. 

By the time you got back to the hotel, you were irritated and completely done with any shenanigans that were going on around you. Dan invited everyone to his room to watch some movies before bed but you shot him down and slinked into your hotel room. Arin followed soon after, and tried to pull you into his arms. 

You shrugged out of them and started to get ready for bed, "Sorry, I'm really just... not feeling it right now. I just wanna go to bed." 

"Overwhelmed?" Arin asked, sitting down on the opposite side of the bed that you were trying to climb into. Were you overwhelmed? You sat in silence and he waited patiently, knowing you were taking a second to collect your thoughts in a coherent way. It had been a busy day – running to the airport because Arin woke up late, running across the airport to your transfer flight that left 15 minutes after your first flight landed, getting ushered to the convention hall and being bombarded with every possible piece of information. 

"Actually... yeah. I'm sorry," You apologized slowly, and Arin's quiet laugh filled the silence. He climbed in bed and gently took your hand in his own, giving you enough time to pull away. 

"It's all good. This kinda thing happens, it was a crazy day. I'll order us a pizza, okay? Eating will help. Go hop in the shower while we wait," He pressed a quick kiss to your forehead and searched for his phone. You climbed out of bed and stripped your pajamas back off on your way to the bathroom. Arin blew a wolf-whistle as you shut the door, leaving you just enough time to send him a dirty look. 

As he laughed out in the room, you climbed into the shower and sat in the bottom of the tub while the water pelted your feelings into clarity. You weren't sad, that was for sure. Not even upset, just irritated in general. You brought your thumb up to bite the tip of your nail until it was short again. Just enough time for you to take some deep breaths and get back to showering like you were supposed to be doing. 

Arin knocked on the door quietly as you were washing the conditioner out of your hair, and that was your cue to get out and eat some pizza. You dired off and redressed in record time, not realizing how hungry you actually were until you were greeted by the smell of food. 

"Bonjour, salut, baguette eiffel tower oui oui hon hon," Arin swooped in to press a paper plate in your hands. It smelled like heaven. The two of you sat on the floor at the foot of the bed, thankfully quiet as you finished recharging your mental battery. 

"I'm sorry-" 

"Nope, don't be sorry. You were overloaded with stuff today, I get that way sometimes. There isn't anything to be sorry about," Arin leaned over to press a pizza-flavored kiss to your cheek, and you laughed as he did. Gross. 

"Still, maybe I should have mentioned that I was feeling like that." 

"Well, next time we know, dude. It's all good, don't beat yourself up over it," You felt your heart swell at Arin's encouragement, and you finally leaned over to give him a pizza-kiss of your own on his lips. When you pulled away he followed, laying kisses all over your cheeks and forehead, leaving you giggling under the onslaught. 

 

Surprisingly, the signing booth didn't go too badly. More than a few people realized who you were and you were wrangled into autographs and selfies with fans praising your work. A few made comments about how cute you were with Arin, and everyone else made no mention of Arin and Suzy's relationship. 

When the day of the panel rolled around, you were offered multiple times by Arin the opportunity to sit this one out until you were more comfortable, but you steeled yourself behind the stage and decided that you needed to go through with this. The first one is always the hardest, Barry encouraged from behind you. 

You just needed to get through this first one. 

The lights were blinding when you made it onto the stage and got to your seat, giving smiles and waves to as many directions of the audience as you could. Now that you were comfortably seated behind the long table, sandwiched between Arin and Barry, the crowd in front of you didn't seem as big as it sounded from behind the curtain. 

You all went down the line and made your introductions, something you had rehearsed in the mirror this morning by repeating your name and your occupation as a Game Grumps editor, over and over. Most of the questions from the crowd were directed at Arin and Dan, but surprisingly you managed to get one halfway through the time slot. 

"Okay, so, how did it feel meeting Arin for the first time?" 

Time stopped. Arin's head whipped from the questioner to the lady who was supposed to be moderating. The woman's face went pale - the questioner must have changed their question after it was approved. You turned your head and Dan looked at you in turn, and with a silent exchange you realized what to do. 

"I-I felt like every single nerve in my body was tingling, like... like two magnets attracting, y'know?" Arin's head turned again to you, watching as you cobbled together an answer that wasn't half-assed, "I actually um... ran away. For like, a month or two? I don't remember how long." 

This was met with laughs from the crowd and that eased your racing heart a little bit. You opened your mouth to speak, but Suzy started to speak instead, "After I found out that they were going to forego being with Arin so that he and I could be together, I knew that it wasn't fair to any of us involved if that were to happen. I'm a big believer in soulmates being first and foremost, so I stepped away. There, that's the truth." 

She leaned behind Barry to reach for your hand, and you willingly reached back to clasp it with hers. The smile Suzy gave you was radiant, brighter than the lights that were illuminating you all for the crowd and cameras. The questioner had been ushered out of the hall before you had even started to answer the question, so things awkwardly moved to the next one for Dan. 

After the panel, where you'd gotten a few more questions that were a bit more tame, the lot of you finally separated to browse the Convention floor at your leisure. You dragged Arin to the video game demos, not giving him a chance to even think about declining. The two of you got caught up in it all until Arin was pulled aside by a loud man with a shock of green hair. 

Arin tugged you over and introduced him as Jack, and you knew that face anywhere. Jack's face brightened up when he saw you, and offered his hand for a shake. As soon as you took it, he yanked you into a quick hug. You laughed and squeezed him back for a half-second. Pulling away, he burst into conversation. 

"Hey! Danny talks about ya all the time!" His cheer was infectious and the two of you chatted like old friends while Arin took a turn at the game you'd been playing first. Someone stopped in front of you guys and you realized that is was Sean from Wendy's. His smile was large and he asked for a photograph with you and Jack. He must not have seen Arin a few feet away. 

"How have you been? What are you doing way out here?" You asked as he pulled away from your little group hug. 

"Oh, I'm visiting family up here, and it happened to line up with a break I had at school, so I bought a ticket for it a few months ago," He explained like it was the most simple thing. You introduced Sean to Jack, and the three of you wrapped back up in conversation as Arin grumbled about stupid broken games. 

Arin finally got tired of games and wanted to go check out the figurines, so you parted ways with Jack and Sean. You exchanged numbers with the two of them, threatening Sean not to give your number out at all, and he responded with the boy scout's salute. 

"I can't believe I just sat around and talked to Jacksepticeye for an hour," You were in awe as Arin lead you across the floor to his destination. He spared a glance to your baffled face and let out a hard laugh. 

"How the hell you weren't this awestruck when you met me, huh?" 

"I had other things on the brain, y'know," You said and only got a cheeky grin in return. Little shit. 

Arin spent way too much money on merchandise this weekend, but he was so excited that you couldn't say much about it. You got dinner with the rest of the crew at some sushi place that Suzy knew about, and when you got back up to the hotel the two of you were racing to get to the bathroom first. Arin won. 

You sulked on the bed while he made exaggerated sounds of satisfaction, trying to make you have to pee even more. You pulled a pillow over your head and ignored him until he jumped on the bed next to you. You shrieked and swatted him with the pillow, "Don't do that! You're gonna shake the pee out!" 

Arin just laughed as you slammed the bathroom door shut behind you. 

 

"Suzy, if Arin isn't your soulmate, who is?" 

Suzy looked up from her cell phone and took a second to process your question. The two of you had gone out for coffee, ditching the other Grumps at the office in the process. Her hesitation was very obvious, but she set her plastic cup down to draw the sleeve back on her wrist. Burned along her wrist was the name of her soulmate. 

_Jackson Christopher Day_

Normally, this wouldn't have stuck in your brain, until the incident two weeks later. 

Suzy wanted to do a La Croix taste test challenge on the channel, so you volunteered to go down to the store and get a few different varieties. Armed with a wad of cash and a shopping cart, you meandered down the drink aisle to harvest the flavored-water fruit. 

"Um... excuse me?" The voice continued on to confirm your name from behind you. Dropping another case into the shopping cart, you turned to see a tall and lanky man with neatly styled hair rocking on his heels. You looked up at him, wondering if he maybe recognized you and wanted to get a picture or something. 

"Hey, what's up?" You asked, and this seemed to make him even more skittish than before. You could tell from the sweat starting to bead on his brow, and the flush creeping through the tops of his ears. 

"I, um... I just had a quick question. Y-you don't have to answer if you don’t want to, of course. I just..." The poor guy stumbled over his words for a moment longer before sighing in aggravation and yanking his sweater's sleeve up. Scarred on to his skin was a very familiar name that make you excited and wary at the same time. What if he was lying? 

"What's your name?" This would confirm it. Suzy was very adamant about not showing her soulmate scar in public, like most other well-known, unmatched celebrities. His hand dropped back to his side and he tugged on the hem of his sweatshirt nervously. 

"J.D. I mean- uh... Jackson. Day, Jackson Day," He stopped again and screwed his eyes shut. You could tell the poor guy was absolutely livid with his stumbling around words. His name assured you, though. He came up to you so he could get you to bring him together with Suzy. Your lips cracked into a grin and you bounced on the balls of your feet in anticipation. 

The knowledge that you had found Suzy's soulmate suddenly pushed away any lingering darkness you had in your head about being with Arin. Suzy would have her other half. 

 

Jackson followed you to the Grump Space, the two of you practically vibrating with ill-concealed excitement. He helped you haul up the La Croix cases, and the looks you got from the guys in the room were a mixture of confusion and concern. Who was this dude? You could practically hear their thoughts. 

Suzy was nowhere to be seen, but you knew she hadn't gone far. She wanted to get things set up for the video, so she was probably rummaging in the storage room for paper cups. Dan pulled you to the side, just out of earshot, and he didn't have to say anything. 

"You're not gonna believe it," You flung your arms around him in a hug and he hesitantly hugged you back. When your ear was close to his, you explained exactly who the strange man was that was standing awkwardly away from the others sitting at the table. 

Dan's grin was bright, and the two of you joined back up with the group sitting at the table. Arin, Ross, and Barry were sitting in the Grump Room so they wouldn't ruin the surprise when you brought in the cases, leaving just Dan, Brian, and Vernon. Dan quietly explained the situation to the other two, and it came down to waiting until Suzy came back. 

The five of you chatted quietly while you waited, but JD's back shot straight when the door to the storage room opened and Suzy came out with a bag of plastic cups, "Not really good for the environment, but they'll do for now- Oh, who's this?" 

Jackson looked to you in absolute terror. Of course, it would be left up to you to introduce him, "Suzy, this is JD." 

"JD? Nice to meet you, I'm Suzy. Are you gonna hang around for the video?" 

"Oh, he might be around a bit more than that," Dan's sly grin visibly put Suzy on edge. Her eyes narrowed and she looked between the group of you. 

"Yeah?" 

"JD, what's that short for, anyway?" Brian asked, leaning his elbows on the table and watching everything unfold with his not-so-subtle pushing. 

"J-Jackson Day." 

The bag of cups dropped to the floor and they rolled around the baffled woman. She scrambled to lift her sleeve and double check that she was remembering everything correctly – that this man was actually her soulmate. The silence went on for a few beats before she launched herself into his arms and started to cry. 

The door to the Grump Room opened and the guys poked their heads out, giving you all a concerned stare-down. Dan beckoned them out, and quietly explained that you had found Suzy's soulmate in a grocery store. 

"He found me, actually," You explained, feeling your chest grow warm and fuzzy from the couple rocking back and forth in front of you. Arin slid to sit next to you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and pulling you to lean against him. Obviously, the video would be postponed for the day. 

After a few moments of admiration, everyone quietly slipped away to give them their alone time. You sat with Arin in your car, quietly enjoying the residual good vibes. Arin reached over the gear shifter to hold your hand tightly, "I'm happy for her." 

"Me too. Now It's her turn to be happy."


	11. Testing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoa, here we go friendos. Thank you for your kind comments!

You didn't see Suzy or Jackson for the next few days after their meeting, but when they finally came back around you were able to really see how their dynamic worked. 

Jackson was an unimaginably sweet man that doted on Suzy hand and foot. He looked at her like she hung all of the stars in the sky. He was also a transgender man. Later, Suzy told you that she was not expecting that, but she couldn't be happier with things. 

As it were, you sat next to him on the couch while you finished up the latest video you were working on. With a few clicks, you saved it and shut down your laptop to head home for the night. After gathering up your stuff, you pressed a quick kiss to Arin's cheek as you walked by, "I'll see you at home?" 

"Yeah, I'll head out in an hour or so. I really wanna finish this before I leave," Arin said absently, redrawing the same line multiple times until he got it exactly right. With another peck to his cheek, you headed out with Jackson in tow. He lived near your home, so you offered to give him a ride back so he didn't need to wait around while Suzy finished editing her own videos. 

You tossed your things in the backseat before you slapped a palm to your forehead, "Shit, I forgot my phone. I'll be back, bud." 

Jackson nodded and slid into the passenger's seat, and you jogged back up to the Grump Space to grab your forgotten cell phone. Quietly, you slipped in and snatched the phone off the table, turning on your heel to jog back outside. As you turned, you eye caught the Grump Room's window, and its two occupants caught in an embrace with their lips locked. 

You saw red, and picked up a television remote to throw it at the plexiglass window. With a crack, it bounced off the window without leaving a scratch, but the batteries skittered across the floor and under the couch. Arin pulled away and looked at you, and the expression on his face was absolute horror. Your fist clenched around your phone and you turned on your heel to storm out of the building. 

You threw yourself into the car and careened out of the parking lot, in the midst of a barrage of questions from Jackson, "What happened? Are you hurt? Shit, I can drive-" 

"I'm fine!" Your voice came out harsher than you intended, and you pulled your temper back. Jackson didn't do this. If anything, he was just as much a victim as you were. With a shaky breath, you calmed your racing heart and told Jackson exactly what you'd seen in the Grump Space. This only resulted in his tears as well. 

You dropped him off at his apartment and sped home, intending on grabbing a bag of your shit and crashing at someone else's house tonight. You didn't stop to think about any of this, because you knew if you did, then you wouldn't be able to fight back against the dark thoughts looming ahead. Luckily, Arin wasn't at the house when you pulled in. 

Leaving your car running, you grabbed enough clothes to last a few days and booked it back to your car. Everything else you needed was in your bag with your laptop. With your phone hooked up to the Bluetooth in your car, you called Dan. He answered immediately, telling you to come over without letting you get a word in edge-wise. 

Dan ushered you inside and set you up on the couch while he listened to a frantic person on the phone. Judging from the raw fury on his face, it had to be Arin. He left upstairs to talk in private, but eventually his soft tones turned into yelling into the receiver, " **And you needed to figure that out by _kissing_ her? Are you fuckin' stupid, dude?** " 

You tuned out Dan's yelling and checked your phone, seeing at least thirty texts and calls between Arin, Suzy, and Dan. As you heard Dan pacing and yelling upstairs, you opened your contacts and scrolled through your messages to clear their unread status. You didn't bother to read any of them. Sitting on the couch and unable to distract yourself, you finally fell victim to the doubts that had been hovering over you for so long. 

"Oh, baby, nonono," Dan came downstairs and realized that you were sobbing hard enough to gag yourself. He slid next to you and pulled you tightly to his chest so your ear was against his heartbeat. It grounded you enough to stop your choking, but not enough to keep you from bawling your eyes out. 

"What do you wanna do, sweetheart? You can stay here as long as you need to. Do you need me to go get more stuff from your place?" He bombarded you with questions, but all the choices you needed to make overwhelmed you again. Dan realized his mistake and lapsed back into wordless humming, rocking you back and forth. 

"I'm here for you, baby. No matter what, I'm gonna be here to take care of you, okay? Nothing is gonna change that," Dan whispered into the crown of your head. You fisted your hands in the shirt across his back, realizing that it was sweaty. How hard had he been yelling at Arin? You couldn't even remember, you were so lost in your own thoughts at that point. 

Eventually, your sobs died down to pitiful sniffling, and he guided you up to his spare bedroom to lay down. As he stepped away, you reached for his hand to keep him nearby, and he got the hint. Climbing into bed, he gathered you to his chest and you relaxed to the sound of his heartbeat again. His hand smoothed over your hair while you gathered up the wits to speak. 

"What happened, Danny?" He let out a small laugh and you tilted your head to look up at him with confusion. 

"Sorry, you hardly call me Danny. Do you wanna hear it from me, or do you wanna hear it from Arin?" 

"I wanna hear it from you. I know he told you the truth, and he'd just sugar-coat it for me," Dan let out a quiet sigh and nodded, guiding your head back under his chin to his chest. 

"Arin is jealous that Suzy has a soulmate, now. He wanted to see if either of them felt anything anymore, now that they had other people in their lives." 

"So he fucking kisses her!?" The desolation in your chest roiled into fiery rage, and you tried to pull away against Dan's firm grip. He didn't let you. 

"That's what I said." 

"Well? What's the verdict?" 

"I dunno beyond that, I'm so fuckin' pissed that I didn't let him say anything while I yelled my buns off," You finally cracked a smile at his phrasing, and it made him brighten up and say that he knew the real you was in there somewhere. You lapsed back into silence again, your swollen eyes begging for sleep but your brain demanding that you make a decision right this second. 

"I think I'm going to stay here the night, and then I might go down to my parents in Anaheim." 

"I think getting away to get some time to think would be good. Cool off a bit," At his mention of away, your brain started turning over an idea of where you would actually go. Somewhere far, just for a little while. Just to think. 

When Dan slipped out of the room to sleep in his own bed, you pulled your phone out and started to send text messages. 

 

"Thanks for letting me visit, Jack." 

The green-haired man helped you bring your bags into his home, and enveloped you in another large hug. The last time you'd seen each other was almost two months ago at PAX. His hair had faded to a pale green, but his smile was still bright enough to lift your spirits a small amount. 

You'd spent the entire plane ride with earbuds in, listening to music and pointedly ignoring any messages from Arin. You hadn't even read one, you were so completely irritated with the entire situation. Your sadness had morphed into anger at how he thought that would be a good idea. You thought about the fact that soulmates would always choose each other first. Why would he even entertain the idea? 

Jack had learned of the entire situation from your messages, and had offered you a place to stay where it wouldn't be brought up unless you were the one to do it. You appreciated that immensely – staying with any of the Grumps or even with your parents was too close to Arin, and you didn't want him to show up until you had worked out your feelings. 

You only told Dan and your parents where you were going, and left on an expensive flight the very next afternoon. Dan promised to keep your car safe while you were gone – he'd guard it with his life, he swore. After he dropped you off at the airport, he gave you a kiss on the forehead and words of caution to be good so you didn't land in prison. 

Jack didn't have a guest room, but he kindly offered you his pull-out couch. You took it without any complaint. As he showed you how to set it up, he explained all the places he wanted to take you and things he wanted you to see. Apparently, Ireland was beautiful and you were missing out by not seeing it firsthand. 

He interrupted his rambling to look over his shoulder at you, and realized that you were spacing out, looking at the pile of sheets on the floor that he'd gathered up. Your eyes looked glassy, and it was just enough to break his heart. He dropped the pillow he was fluffing and gathered you up in his arms. 

"Shit, I know I wasn't gonna say anythin', but I'm here for ya, okay? Stay as long as ya want, move in if ya need to. Just don't cry, 'cause then I'll cry and I'm an ugly crier," You laughed and it devolved into sobs as your resolve broke. You promised you wouldn't cry again, but here you were, sitting on a pull out couch with Jacksepticeye, crying about your disloyal soulmate.


	12. Chapter 12

"He's a wreck. When are you comin' back?" 

You leaned against the arm of the couch, faintly hearing Jack recording a video across the house. Through the phone, Barry was making breakfast. It was nearing 5PM in Ireland, and Jack was just finishing up before the two of you went out for dinner. You'd been camping out on his couch for almost a week now, and had come to a few conclusions. 

Arin was an idiot, you knew that much. Nothing would excuse what he decided to do. His method was flawed and probably the dumbest thing you'd ever heard of. You'd gotten multiple texts since you left, and only yesterday did you decide to read some of them. They were a wild ride of emotions from start to finish. 

Arin's explanation was exactly what Dan had told you, surprisingly. Despite not having any strong feelings for Suzy anymore, something in him was immensely jealous seeing her with another man. Arin didn't know if it was just residual feelings from being with her so long, or if he genuinely still loved her and pushed it away for the sake of being with you. 

Suzy, on the other hand, hadn't felt jealous over Arin being with you at all, she claimed. However, she went along with Arin's half-assed idea because she wanted him to get rid of his jealousy and figure out his feelings. She admitted that it was stupid of her to do, and you received multiple messages over the past week of apologies for betraying your trust in her. 

You looked down at the name on your wrist and gave it the most withering stare you could muster. How could he _ever_ think that was a good idea? You were supposed to come first. You were his soulmate. At these thoughts, you stopped yourself. It was a far cry from how you felt when you first entered this relationship, and it was disorienting to think about how far things had come. 

"Yo, ready to go?" You didn't even realize Jack was finished until he leaned over your head from the back of the couch. You looked up at him and nodded, before telling Barry that you would talk to him later. Hanging out with Jack was easy – the past week had gone by quickly. Despite his offer to keep your situation out of conversation while you visited, many a late night had been spent sitting at his kitchen table and talking about the whole thing. 

As the two of you were seated and gave your orders, you broke the news to him that you'd be going home within the next couple days, depending on when you could get a return ticket home. His happiness dimmed for a minute before he brought back a pretty smile, "Hopefully things go well for ya, my door's always open for ya." 

Your food arrived a moment later, and you scooped some fries in your mouth immediately. You watched as Jack reached to the side of the table to get the ketchup. His jacket sleeve raised, and your eyes were drawn to the burn on his wrist that had been uncovered. Something about that looked weird. Jack seemed to notice what you'd seen, and the tension at the table went up to eleven. 

"Jack..." 

"What's up?" His nonchalant tone didn't fool you. 

"What's on your wrist?" 

"Oh, my soulmate mark! No big deal." 

"Oh yeah? Who is it?" Jack shoved food in his mouth to stall for time, but you were oddly calm as you waited. His hesitance to answer only confirmed your suspicions. His arm moved to slide under the table but you grabbed it and yanked his sleeve up, seeing a name that you never suspected until only moments ago. 

Yours. 

Jack yanked his wrist back and you let your own hand fall flat on the table. Things were quiet while the two of you awkwardly ate your dinner. It had to be someone else with your name – you didn't have Jack's name on your body anywhere. 

"That can't be-" 

"It is. I felt it," You looked at him and he was drawing designs in his ketchup with a french fry, "At your panel at PAX... how ya described meeting Arin is how I feel being around ya. I wasn't gonna say anything though. Ya don't have my name. I'm fine just... being your friend." 

"Oh," Was the only response you could think of after a confession like that. You didn't feel that way with Jack, not how you felt with Arin. He was a good friend, but nothing more. Your nerves didn't sing for him, your heart didn't feel that pull. 

"It's not uncommon to have one-sided soulmates, I looked it up the first time Arin told me about ya." 

"I just wish you'd told me sooner, I guess," You muttered, Jack mustered up the best smile he could, but you couldn't find one of your own to return. This was all kinds of fucked. You tapped on the table with your fingertips mindlessly, all of your appetite lost. Just thinking about how Jack was feeling all this time made your stomach turn. 

"I'm gonna talk to Arin. I just... I'm sorry, Jack. He's my soulmate, I have to at least hear him out." 

"And you're mine, but even so I want ya to be happy. If that means being with Arin, I'll be behind ya all the way." 

 

You made it back to your actual home in one piece. Despite the revelation from dinner with Jack, he didn't try to convince you to stay. If anything, he encouraged you to talk to Arin and work things out. Dan picked you up from the airport and took you home, where he promised Arin was waiting with anxiety through the roof. 

Unlocking the door quietly, you stepped inside and set your bag next to the door. Arin must have been waiting, because you were snatched into the hardest hug you'd ever received... and the wettest. Arin must have been crying because the face he buried in your hair was soaked. Awkwardly, you wrapped your arms around his waist and returned his embrace. 

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. Please don't leave me. I was stupid. I was a fuckin' idiot. I'll never talk to Suzy again, just please don't leave-" 

"Arin," You tried to interrupt, but he sobbed apologies into the crown of your head. With a sigh, you maneuvered the two of you into the living room to sit on the couch. You were able to pry his arms from you enough to look him in the eye. He looked like complete shit – greasy hair, flushed face, shadowed eyes. 

"I read your texts, okay? Just... let me talk first." 

"Anythin' you want," He responded immediately, and you let out a small laugh. You were holding up surprisingly well, considering the fact that you were the victim here. 

"You hurt me, Arin. You betrayed my trust and I honestly think you're kind of an idiot now. Despite you being the biggest fucknut I've ever known, I want to work this out. I just need to know I can trust you again." 

"I won't be alone with Suzy anymore. I've realized that I can't be without you, not anymore. I did something stupid, and I hurt you, and I hurt Suzy, and I hurt Jackson. I'll do whatever I need to. I'll marry you right now if you want-" 

"Honestly, that's gonna be off the table for a while," Arin nodded, understanding the point you were trying to make. He'd fucked up badly. Slowly, you leaned forward to press a kiss on his tear-stained cheek, bringing a small smile to his face. As you wrapped him in another hug, you briefly thought about telling him of Jack. 

Immediately, you nixed that one. Better not. 

Later that night, you were in bed in the guest room while you messaged Jack with a thumbs up. He sent you a smiley face, but you couldn't shake the sadness that settled in your chest for Jack's situation. Briefly, you wondered what it would have been like if Jack had been your soulmate instead. You wouldn't have had to worry about breaking up a happy marriage, that's for sure. 

It wouldn't do to dwell on that. You didn't feel that magnetic pull to Jack. 

Somewhere in the back of your mind, as you drifted off to sleep, you still wondered if maybe there was some kind of mistake, and the name on your wrist had been a misprint.


	13. Chapter 13

Things were... weird, to say the least. 

You avoided the office for another week, doing your work from home. Barry had handled it while you were in Ireland, but now you have to pick up the slack. Arin would come home at 5 every night on the dot, standing awkwardly in the doorway of the home office until you gave him some sort of indication that it was alright for him to come closer. 

After a handful of days, you moved back in to the master bedroom and started to sleep beside Arin again. He didn't dare touch you, his arms held tightly to his chest even as he slept. Deep down, you longed for him to hold you again, but you still held your reservations. He'd hurt you, and you weren't sure how long it would be until things went back to how they were before. 

Currently, you were sitting on the couch in the living room with Dan. He didn't have anything to do in the office today, so he stopped by to keep you company for a few hours while you edited videos. It felt like second nature at this point, so you didn't really have any problems listening to Dan ramble about things. 

"So," Dan's speaking slowed, and he finally turned the conversation to you and your relationship, "How are things going, now?" 

"I... don't know. Everything is kind of weird right now. I'm back to sleeping in the same bed, but any time I think about kissing him, I just think about what he did with Suzy-" 

"That's not healthy, dude. Have you talked to him about it?" Dan pulled his legs on the couch to curl beside him. He propped an elbow on the back of the couch, and used his hand to rest his chin on. No, of course you hadn't spoken to him about it. When you came home he'd cried, you couldn't handle that again. You didn't want to be the cause. 

You told this to Dan, and he let out a quiet hum. Things fell silent as he thought of some advice to give you, but it turned out to be what you didn't want to hear, "The only way for things to get back to normal is if you two dingleberries talk about things. Like, for real talk. Arin might cry, but at least everything'll be out in the open." 

You nodded, looking at the worn-down space bar on your laptop and mulling it over in your head. Dan was absolutely right, like he always was. When it came to relationships, he seemed to have the perfect answer despite being blank. You nodded slowly and Dan laid his hand on your shoulder closest to him, "I promise, it's not as bad as you're making it out to be. Things have to be confronted before they get better, dude." 

 

Arin arrived home earlier than 5 that night. Of course he would, now that you were dreading the talk that was looming. As he stepped in the doorway and looked at you with an unreadable expression, you shut your laptop and set it on the coffee table, "We need to talk." 

You could tell that terrified him. Slowly, he walked into the living room and sat rigid on the couch next to you. Maybe you could've worded that a little easier, but it's too late now. With a bit of hesitance, you reached over and took his hand in yours, lacing your fingers together. This was the most physical contact you'd had with him in a week. It was a testament to how things were now. 

"W-what's up?" Arin finally asked, and you resigned yourself to this awkward talk that was about to happen. 

"I just... things are weird right now, Arin." 

"You're telling me," Arin breathed, and you cracked a passionless smile before pushing forward. 

"I want things to be how they were before, but... I don't know how," Arin visibly relaxed at this. He must've thought you were breaking up with him. He was your soulmate, you wouldn't be able to get out of this relationship even if you tried. It would always pull you back. 

"What's keeping things weird?" Arin's upper body turned to face you, and the limp hand in your grip suddenly found the will to squeeze you back. What was keeping things weird? You mulled it over for a moment. 

"I... keep thinking about what happened. Do you still want Suzy? Do you regret us being soulmates?" 

"Absolutely not, on both of those. I want you, soulmate or not. What I did was shitty and stupid, and I regret doing it every second of the day," Arin's voice wavered at the end, and you didn't chance a look at his face. You knew his eyes were getting glossy. If you saw that, you'd go the same way. 

"Then how do we fix this?" 

"Time, maybe? How about we start over. Let me try and win you over again," Arin's voice lost that waver, and came back with full conviction. His hand came up to gently grasp your chin and swing your face around to look him in the eye, "I _love_ you. More than anything before and anything that's going to come. I'll spend the rest of my life convincing you if that's what it takes." 

As his words hovered between the two of you, you felt your heart swell once again. This moment felt like a step in the right direction. You leaned forward slowly, pressing your lips against his. It was slow, testing the waters again like the very first time. Arin spared no time in reciprocating, moving your mouths together leisurely. 

The kiss felt like coming home after a long trip. Like wrapping up in a blanket fresh from the dryer. Kissing Arin felt right, and it blew any doubts you had out of the water. You could do this – things could be made right. 

It would take time, but things would be okay again. He was your soulmate, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that's all folks. 
> 
> Not gonna lie, I lost a lot of steam for this story toward the end. I felt like this would be a good place to end it, especially if I wanted to do a sequel at some point. 
> 
> Thanks for coming along for the ride, you can pick your pictures up just beyond the exit at the kiosk to your right.


End file.
